Wednesday, 19 August 2015 15:29

E-mail or she-mail?

Dear Hillary,

Since everyone uses emails these days, how do you know whether the letters are genuine? I reckon some of them are using the fact they can hide behind nicknames and the email system to pull your leg. Do you honestly believe everyone who writes to you is real?

The Disbeliever


Dear Disbeliever,

I am an Agony Aunt, not a detective, my Petal. Does it really matter if someone tells a few porkies? But I can recognize that behind every nickname there lies a frightened little boy who is having some kind of relationship problem, usually with our young Thai ladies. So, what’s your problem “Disbeliever”?

Wednesday, 19 August 2015 15:26

Family culture

Dear Hillary,

With all these men writing to you to say how they have been tricked or cheated but not everyone has a hard-luck story. Certainly there are differences between Thai women and European/American women, but that is part of their charm. There are also differences in culture, so to say that looking after sick or needy relatives is an imposition means that the man does not understand the “family” culture here, as opposed to the selfish culture of “me first” above everything else, which is the usual situation in the west. Certainly the relatives stay with us when they are in town, but it is a small price to pay. I think many of these men who write to you are selfish in their attitude, and they bring the end results upon themselves. To those men who complain about all the problems they have, I say treat the Thai women with consideration, respect their culture, this is their country, not yours and you will be rewarded with a deep and satisfying association.



Dear Joe,

It pleases me very much to see there are some men over here who are prepared to admit to and respect the fact that they are guests in this country. Sure, there are societal differences as this is not America, this is Amazing Thailand. Fitting in as you have done is very much better than trying to make the women and the customs conform to your western ways. By the same token, you should carefully choose your life’s mate, slowly and thoughtfully, just as you would do when looking for a mate in your own countries. One night of passion is not the basis for a strong and lasting union, something many of you appear not to have understood.

Thursday, 13 August 2015 12:47

Evil’s last words?

Dear Hillary,

I had to laugh at the last nickname you gave me which was Evil Knievel. A few years ago I gave a lift on my motorcycle to an English woman who gave me the same nickname. The following day she bought a car, not sure if it was my riding had anything to do with it! But Hillary Anger Management is the way to go, it works wonders, now I don’t get angry, I get even! Seriously I am only joking, as you know we have to realize that probably 50 percent or more motorcyclists and motorists have paid for their license, never having taken a test. Although by what we see it seems like 99 percent have bought their licenses, 5,5,5,...sorry, that should be Ha, Ha, Ha... Dear Hillary never give up your column, it makes many peoples day, mine included of course....All the very best...

Evil Knievel (The Resurrected One)


Dear Resurrected Evil,

I am so glad to read that you continue to be alive and kicking, though I am sure your current steed would have an electric start rather than the old kick start lever to try and break your ankle. As far as the lady passenger was concerned, no wonder she went for the safety of four wheels. Wouldn’t catch me sitting side saddle behind you with your history of up-enders and that’s on top of the motorcycle crashes. Thanks for the kind words.


Dear Hillary,

I feel a special sorrow for the closed shops I see on major streets. Tukcom was delightfully busy today I am happy to report and the mandated removal of so many stalls within the place has made it much safer to shop in the event of a need of an evacuation should it be required. There is room for customers to escape a fire now. So things are better and worse. Fewer Russian tourists and more Chinese in “all inclusive” buses clogging the streets, filling hotel rooms and fixed priced prepaid dinners, but less for better restaurants.



Dear Robert,

You have certainly got your ear to the grindstone, or something like that. Yes, the Russian numbers plummeted as quickly as the ruble. We don’t get much directly from the Chinese influx, though the flag makers are doing a brisk trade on yellow flags on sticks, and a whistle. However, escape a fire in Tuk Com? The elevators can’t be used and the stairs are so narrow it would be impossible to use them with three notebooks under each arm, a pocket full of GoPros and two printers. There has to be an upside as well as the down.

Thursday, 13 August 2015 12:47

Are you hot and desirable?

Dear Hillary,

Further to old chaps being ripped off by the younger and smarter ladies. The old coots with poor eyesight think they are “hot desirable stuff” however, and arrive off the plane a few bricks short of a full mental foundation.



Dear Rob,

I think you are being unkind, but I love the “full mental foundation” concept. However, what are these older gentlemen leaving behind? A council flat where they are in the minority group? Weather that defies logical choice. Who wants to freeze to death in winter? And the “old coots” as you call them don’t think they are “hot desirable stuff”, but the clever young girls make them think that way. Some of my sisters are very good at separating a man from his millions even better than the Ufun scandal.

Thursday, 13 August 2015 12:43

Can I believe her?

Dear Hillary,

I came to Thailand for a two week holiday and met a young girl, as you do. We got along well, so I paid for her company up till the day before I left. That was when she started ringing me up and asking to see me, saying she was in love with me. Even if she couldn’t be with me for my last night she wanted to come and see me before the taxi picked me up. I felt bad about this but all my mates told me to forget about her, but I kept on answering her calls, but the mates stopped me from giving in, but I still felt bad about it all. What do you think I should have done? Mike


Dear Mike,

You forgot where you met this young lady who fell madly in love with you after 10 days. You paid for her company, my Petal. It was a business arrangement, not a matrimonial contract. By making you feel indebted to her, she was much more likely to extract even more money from you, which is why she wanted the face to face meeting, even on that last morning, you never know what you can get, even if it is just what is left in your wallet. You don’t say how old you are, but you are obviously a babe compared to the lady from the bar. What should you have done? Just what you did do, and that was to cut the relationship once the period of hire was completed. It was a short-time holiday romance, and a paid one at that. Next time you come over, you will hopefully be more mature, more wise and keep a tight hold on your wallet.

Wednesday, 05 August 2015 14:38

Don the Stalker

Dear Hillary,

I stalked your work place and, when you emerged, agreed, you are indeed a “sight that makes eyes sore.” Not so good at typing but think I got the thought right! You were the one in heels with the beard, right?



Dear Don,

So you are the one we had to get the security to throw out of the office, and I hope the arm wasn’t fractured, but you did carry on a bit. I can vouch for the fact that none of the staff have a beard, though some do need a shave, I will agree. I don’t know who you mistook for me, as I was away all week at an Agony Aunt conference in Bangkok. However, instead of banning you from the area, I have informed security that you can be let in as long as you are carrying a nice cold bottle of Veuve Clicquot. But if VC is too expensive for you, then even a half decent Prosecco will at least get your leg in the door.

Wednesday, 05 August 2015 14:32

Ripped off department

Dear Hillary,

Further to some of your correspondent’s woes with Thai females. No need to be confused it’s happened to all of us at one time or another. This week’s word is “Back Dooring.” As one walks out the front there is someone waiting out back.

Here are some other things to look out for:

Your girlfriend phones and tells you she is in Bangkok, when in fact she is at Naklua with her German lover.

Arriving late for work? She was stopped by police who will keep her m/bike until she pays a fine. You pay for me teerak?

You give her the money and she adds it to the wad she has made for the afternoon’s “short times”.

These women know their time is short so they must make a nest egg before they lose their looks. Some say they live from day to day and spend all their money, but be assured Mom is getting her share and when the time comes to quit, there will be a piece of land and a house waiting for them in Buriram.

Thai logic is not like ours and you will be forever confused by it, so lay back and enjoy life here and keep the key to the back door in a safe place. (No you jerk, not in your wallet.)



Dear Brian,

You have certainly been around, haven’t you, my Petal, and I thank you for helping educate some of the newbies. But you shouldn’t be too hard on our ladies of the night. They have chosen that line of business, and remember that it can be a business to do pleasure with you, or some similar quotation.

Wednesday, 29 July 2015 13:15

A warning

Dear Hillary,

I think foreigners should read “Only 13” to get a clear understanding of what these girls’ mindsets may be. I am not saying there are not great girls out there, but this girl is scary and perhaps western men should get a clue.



Dear Peter,

Yes I know the book and have read it. As you say, she is quite ‘scary’, but what you have to remember is not all Thai girls are like her, with psychotic tendencies. Another book I recommend is Stephen Leather’s Private Dancer where the girl is perfectly sane, but out to get whatever she can. Do I get the feeling that you’ve had a bad experience recently?

Wednesday, 29 July 2015 13:11

Where do you buy a tin helmet?

Dear Hillary,

Over here we are being told that Thailand is not safe, there’s a military coup, soldiers everywhere, not allowed to have more than five people together at one time. It sounds like the Balkans. What has happened to the Land of Smiles?



Dear Roger,

I don’t know where you are getting your information from, but it is wrong, wrong, wrong. We are not walking around in flak jackets and tin hats. I haven’t seen a soldier for weeks, and you wouldn’t know there was an army appointed government if you didn’t read the newspapers. Thailand is better than it has been for quite some time. But don’t take my word for it, my Petal, just come over and see for yourself. Hotels will never be cheaper than they are right now, caused by the financial problems in the world. Nothing to do with the Thai economy, which is in good shape. Tell you what – come over and you can buy me a coffee and you will see just how cheap everything is here.

Wednesday, 29 July 2015 13:06

Try an older lady

Dear Hillary,

I do get tired of reading about all these people who complain they have been ripped off by Thai women. My first Thai wife and I had a wonderful relationship which only ended after 10 years when she died. My second Thai wife has just been so loving and caring. She was a friend of my previous wife and she knew the sad story, but was there to support me. The men who write in to you, Hillary, should start to look at older women and not these flirty young gold diggers they see in the bars.



Dear William,

It always pleases me to get emails like yours. You are correct that Thai women can be the most supportive women on earth. You are a very lucky man William, who looked beyond the beer bars.

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