Further to my correspondence of some time ago regarding the lady in the next house who flaunts her body nightly - well, you have inadvertently disclosed something about yourself in making a “Freudian slip”. By claiming Freud was a friend of yours you most certainly must be a very ancient crone, as the man cashed in his mortal coil in 1939, that is 74 years ago to save you consulting your abacus. Or was this claim of friendship untrue, and you were merely seeking fame by association? Nothing is documented in his memoirs that he knew of your existence, but you are certainly of great age to even allege you were of his acquaintance! It is a great pity wisdom did not accompany your ageing process. Now, what would Freud have made of you? The mind boggles. As Freud once profoundly said in his book titled “Agony Aunts Are Always Abysmal” (it was awarded 5A ratings in the best sellers list), “There’s many a slip between hand and hip.”
And you have leapt to some unwarranted conclusions. By inferring some time ago as to whether I still have my rocking horse is akin to asking a total stranger “When did you stop beating your wife?” Of course I still have that memory of a very happy childhood, and his name is “Giddyup”.
But back to my original subject - the flaunting lady. Circumstance has forced her to cease her shameless behavior of showering in full view of neighbors. The other night, while performing her normal erotic ablutions, she unfortunately tripped over her Zimmer frame and sustained such injuries that she was whisked off to hospital on a stretcher. I haven’t seen her since, so perhaps the medics are having difficulty in putting her back together. However, knowing your penchant for such things, I do have photographs which I’ve saved especially for you to view.
Puritanical Pattaya Parishioner
You are indeed a very sick puppy. Whatever gave you the idea that I would be in the slightest interested in photographs of someone being whisked off on a stretcher? Or were you offering photographs of your rocking horse? Once more you have made conclusions not based on sound facts. There’s more than one Freud in this world, my peeping Petal. At last count there were 84 in the Austrian phone books. My friend Ziggy Freud (amateur psychologist) should not be confused with Sigmund Freud (professional psychologist and erstwhile author). I am glad your next door neighbor has now left you in peace, so you don’t have to crane your neck attempting to look into her boudoir, and this closes the correspondence on this subject.
Have a big problem with the GF (Thai of course). Playing around behind my back when I’m at work. Not doing it for money because I give her enough each month (30K) and she generally has money left over. I just can’t get my head around why she does it. She says she’s happy with me and denies playing around, but my mates have seen her working out of a bar on Beach Road. What’s my next step Hillary?
Too few details for me to be specific. How long have you been together? Did she come from a bar in the first place? If your friends can find her so easily, why don’t you go to the bar on Beach Road and see for yourself? Make sure, however, that she’s not just visiting friends if she came from that bar in the first place. And it is all very well saying you give her 30K “salary”, but does she have enough to do while you are at work? Start collecting facts, my Petal, and not rumors from your friends.
A friend of mine got picked up by the police the other night in one of their roadside check points. She had her helmet on, all the paper warfare for the bike and carrying no drugs thank you very much. Fined 200 baht! For what? I am told this is a common occurrence. Any ideas?
Jack and Jill
Dear Jack and Jill,
I wasn’t there, so I can’t really comment, can I? It is a common occurrence I am told, but since I don’t ride motorcycles I have never had this problem. I do ride a motorcycle taxi to get across Thepprasit Road as it is far too dangerous for me to cross over to the noodle shop from the office. I liked the old office better as there was a noodle shop next door.
How much do I need to spend each month to live nicely in Pattaya. I know that since it is an international resort for tourists it might be a bit more expensive than up-country. It would be just for me as I don’t intend having any live-ins or anything like that. I am 58 years old and have retired early.
There’s quite a few books on this subject, Petal, including one from our own Dr. Iain (Farang The Sequel). To live at a decent standard, eating at restaurants and the odd bottle of wine (make it Veuve Clicquot and I’ll join you), movies and a reasonable condo, look at 100,000 baht a month. Of course, if you own your own condo you can make that monthly figure a lot less.
It is school holidays and the cinemas don’t show children’s movies? Is there some Thai reason for this, or just not thinking ahead? It beats me. I have three children 8, 10 and 12 and there’s no movies for them?
Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Not having a tribe of rug rats to entertain during school holidays, this is something that never occurred to me. Hopefully the cinema management people might see this and will realize how much money they are losing by not catering for children.
If the Thai women are as grasping as it would seem, reading the letters on your page, how come they are still in the business? Surely if they were all that bad, word would have gotten out by now. I get the impression that they’ve been given a bad name and it has stuck. Sure there has to be a few rotten apples, but am I correct that the bad ones are a small percentage only?
It is not correct of me to comment on the bar girls as a group, but there is certainly a good percentage of them out for what they can get. Certainly these are the ones whose men ‘friends’ end up writing to me. Provided the male holidaymaker understands the ground rules, everyone is a winner. But it is the men who mistake financial arrangements for romance who fall for the “I lub you too mut, tee rak.” There are enough books out there, there are enough internet sites out there about this side of a Thai holiday, and the heart-rending advice from yours truly as well. Nobody should be puzzled, Petal. Not even you.
I have become friends with a couple of Thai girls through Facebook and we are contacting each other every day, and they seem to have excellent English. I have never been to Thailand but I am now looking at a holiday there. Both the girls say they want to “look after” me when I come over. I don’t want to disappoint one of them, and honestly I don’t know which to choose as they look drop dead gorgeous in the photos. Any suggestions?
You have been snared in the net - and that’s not the internet. Local girls do not have excellent English, and they want to look after your wallet, not you. Run!
Could you put in your column to the poor, Aus cobber about his pension. Don’t spit out your dummie. If you want it you have to fight for it. I got in touch with the international ombudsman. Start with one that will help you. Good luck, don’t give up. And that’s a bottle of Veuve Clicquot for Hillary when you get it. Advice free!
On behalf of the un-named Australian, thank you for the free advice, and I certainly hope he gets a positive outcome. I can taste the Veuve Clicquot already.
To Charlie who holds up Thai bar girls as the way to go. Yes Charlie old bean, “Mug” is the word! When, oh when, will you “mugs” learn? About once a year, my friends and I take a trip down to Walking Street, we find a bar, turn the seats around to face the street and watch the entertainment, which we call it “the Jonny 2 weeks show”. We like to watch all the “greenhorns” (mugs) doing what they do best - meet a girl and after 3 weeks ask her to marry them and why not buy her a motorbike, a house perhaps and then cry about how she stole from you, how these girl are not to be trusted, my advice is - if you do not have a mirror at home fill up a bucket of water, look in to the bucket and that idiot looking back at you is responsible for everything that happens to you. Stop crying, learn to speak Thai, get a life and enjoy Thailand - if not, I say, “Som nam na!”
Dear Thai Mark,
Everything you mentioned is true, without a doubt, but if these “mugs” didn’t do all the silly things, there would be no need for this column!
Regarding “salaries” for GFs. Why must you upset the mango cart? The financial arrangements have been here a long time and seem to work out for all concerned. You cannot change the system old girl.
Dear Singha Jerry,
You seem to be confused, Singha Jerry (too much Singha perhaps)? Wives and husbands are a team, not one the master and the other the servant, as you would like it to be. Sorry SJ, I cannot agree with you in any way at all.