Another blushing virgin

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Dear Hillary,

What is the situation here as far as dowries is concerned. I have been living with this girl I met in the local bar for a few weeks and I have been up to her home town to meet her folks, and they seem to be OK sort of people who accepted me quite easily. Her mother looks after her child from a previous marriage. Her father has a small rice farm. My girl is now saying that her parents expect us now to get married and we must go back to her village for the ceremony, and that I am expected to pay the dowry for her as well as paying for the monks and the marriage ceremony and party. I asked her how much did they expect and she tells me around 300,000 baht will cover everything. Honestly Hillary, that is a lot of money, being a bit close to 6,000 pounds, and I don’t know that I really want to go through this at that sort of money. I understand this may be the custom out here, but I want your opinion on it. I haven’t got anyone else I can ask to get some sensible advice. If I go ahead, she says her parents will give the money back to us, but what if they don’t? Then I’ve just blown my trip money.

Harry

Dear Harry,

Dowries are still expected in some regions of Thailand, but 300,000 baht is a bit steep for a blushing bride you met in a bar, who has been married before and already has one child being looked after by her mother. Are there any others hiding round the corner? Virgin births have not happened for about 2,000 years, and that certainly didn’t happen in Thailand. Any contract of marriage should not be entered into when there are doubts, and you are certainly showing more than a few doubts (not that I blame you). You do not say how long you have been in Thailand, but I get the feeling you are a newcomer and even just a tourist. A ‘real’ marriage, which is recognized in both Thai law and the UK, is not the one in the village, but is done at the local amphur office. You asked for my opinion, Petal, and here it is – run! Don’t wait around. Go!

  • LondonChris

    If she is working in a bar already has a previous marriage a kid and is trying to get you to pay a dowry then you have already begun the process of being taken to the cleaners. She is clearly dishonest right from the off and the best thing you can do is tell her to go away (cleaned that up a bit) before she comes up with the next story to fleece you with, this could keep happening until you are broke then my guess would be you will have an accident like falling off a balcony to your death at which time your grieving widow will return to the bar looking for the next mug.