A new ATM

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Dear Hillary,

I think I’ve done something really stupid. I read a few weeks ago that you said not to give money to the girls round here. I loaned ten thousand baht to one lady I know who said she would pay it back within three weeks. It’s a month now and I haven’t seen her or heard from her and her friends say she has gone up country. Do you think I’ve lost the money? What should I do now?

Foolhardy

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Dear Foolhardy,

You haven’t “lost” your money. You know perfectly well where it is. It’s with some girl up country, you silly fellow. You gave it away, that’s what you did with it. Mind you, I didn’t say you shouldn’t give your money away, I said you shouldn’t lend it. There’s a big difference. Yes, Hillary doesn’t think you’ll see that money again (or the girl). Next time give it to me for “safe” keeping. At least you’ll know I’m enjoying it. In the meantime, what you should do is to get one of those T shirts that says, “I spent all my money on women and booze. The rest I wasted.” It fits. Hope the shirt does too.