This new category is going to be called Formula 1. I’m sorry Bernie, but this tyre dominated category is not motor racing. Cars driving in close formation may be exciting for the great unwashed, but it is turning off the enthusiasts, who make up your power base.
So where were we? Oh yes, Lewis Hamilton’s team (McLaren) got the strategy right and he cruised home for the win with his tyres intact. After the race, Hamilton reported, “I looked after my tyres really well today, and I used them knowing we were going to two-stop.” His team mate did not and finished nowhere, saying “I didn’t find the speed today, and I couldn’t seem to look after the tyres.”
Second place was an unexpected result, with Romain Grosjean in the “Lotus” amazingly avoiding crashing on the first corner, and came home to the second step of the podium. “It wasn’t easy to manage the second set of tyres for so long, but it worked so I’ll happily do that again for another result like today.” You have been warned. The driver of the other “Lotus”, the returning Finn Kimi Raikkonen showed some rare moments of insight, saying, “If you start further forward it’s easier to finish higher up the order.” Now I’ll bet that never occurred to you before!
Third placed (Mexican) Sergio Perez in the Sauber has become a tyre specialist, “I saw that for me the tyre degradation wasn’t so bad and this allowed me to manage my pace quite well.” However, despite his diploma in tyre management, the same cannot be said for his geography. “Also it is particularly sweet to have been at the podium ceremony here in Montreal because we are not too far from my home country and there are many Mexicans here.” Not too far? Well, I suppose there is only the United States in between, but many of the “many” Mexicans are reputedly illegals.
Fourth place was the best that Sebastian (the Finger) Vettel could do, despite being blisteringly fast in Qualifying to easily secure pole position. However, in the race it was a different story, requiring fresh tyres around 10 laps from the end. “Before the stop we were three four seconds behind Fernando, but we ended up six seconds ahead of him.” This is “racing”? His team mate Mark Webber had an uninspiring day’s outing in Canada, admitting, “It’s hard to get it right here - if you push to try and pass you kill the tyres.” (That’s just in case you think the tyres are not the dominant factor of 2012.)
Alonso (Ferrari) also gambled on tyres, and got it wrong. Leading at one stage and finishing fifth. His team mate Massa continued to be less than impressive. Time for the one way plane ticket to Brazil.
And if you think I am exaggerating regarding the influence Pirelli has on the results, Rosberg (Mercedes) was told via the pit to car radio to do a better job in looking after his tyres and he was using too much fuel! This was on lap six of seventy. This is motor racing?
Don’t put Pirelli’s on your road car, you’ll need a new set before you get to the end of Beach Road.