Engineering laws


This is the second half of the list of engineering laws. Thank you Chris from the Pattaya Car Club for making these available to us. There are many more items past Newton’s Law.

Kettering’s Law – Logic is only an organized way of going wrong consistently.

Kipling’s Law – If you can keep your head when all those about you are losing theirs, then you are out of touch with the situation.

Kissinger’s Law – Merely because an individual displayed all the classical signs and symptoms of Paranoia, it does not mean that nobody was out to get him anyway.

The Nixon Principle – Being caught is the only unforgivable crime.

Mecken’s Law – There is always an easy answer to every human problem – neat, plausible – and wrong.

Murphy’s Law (American); Sod’s Law (UK)

(1) If anything can go wrong, it will.

(2) Nothing is as easy as it looks.

(3) If things can’t get any worse, they will.

(4) Everything takes longer than you think it will.

(5) If things seem to be getting better, you have overlooked something.

O’Toole’s Corollary – That Murphy’s a fekin’ optimist.

Patrick’s Theorem – If it works, you must be using the wrong equipment.

The Peter Principle – In any hierarchy, each individual tends to rise to the level of their incompetence.

Pudder’s Law – Anything that begins well will end badly. (NB The converse is not true.)

Recovery Principle – The accessibility of any small parts dropped from the working area varies directly with the size of the part, and inversely with its importance to the completion of the work in progress.

Robinson Crusoe’s Law – I am the only man ever to get all my work done by Friday.

Rudin’s Law – In any crisis which forces a choice to be made between several alternative courses of action, it is only natural to make the worst possible choice.

Ryan’s Law – Make three consecutive correct guesses and your reputation as an expert will be established.

Sattingler’s Law – It works better when you have plugged it in.

Store’s Principle – Supplies needed for yesterday’s work will not be ordered before noon tomorrow.

Thyme’s Law – Everything goes wrong at once.

The Tribologist’s Rule – Despite the efforts of OPEC, and irrespective of the company accountant’s views, Oil is still cheaper than repairs.

The Universal Law – If it happens, it must be possible.

Uppert’s Law – Where circumstances offer two or more possible courses of action, the most cynical will be the correct one.

Weiler’s Law – Nothing is impossible to the man who doesn’t have to do the work.

Whitehead’s Law – The obvious answer is always overlooked.

Wilcox’s Laws –

(1) A pat on the back is only inches away from kick up the ass.

(2) If you are keeping your ear to the ground, you are properly placed for a kick up the ass.

Woodward’s Law – Any theory is better than its explanation.