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Family Money: Making It On Your Own - Part 1
By Leslie
Wright,
Managing director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd.
Many expatriates in Pattaya have started their own
businesses, or bought someone else’s. No matter whether the business is
a beer bar, or trades in goods, or provides services, there are a lot of
risks involved with starting one’s own business.
It is sobering to note that in the developed world,
over 40% of all new businesses fail within the first two years. In Pattaya
the failure rate is probably well over 50%.
The question then arises: Why?
Fundamentally, the success of any business depends on
making more money than it spends. Many entrepreneurs get a bright idea,
scrape together enough capital to open shop and hope that they’ll be
successful.
Often, they know little if anything about accounting;
cash-flow analysis or budgeting. They leave these matters to others and
get by somehow, often living from hand to mouth, day to day. They have no
idea whether their business is financially sound, or even where the money
is coming from or going to.
Business runs on numbers
Any businessman who doesn’t know the state of his
company’s finances is not a businessman. (He may be a superb salesman,
or engineer, or technician - but he’s not a businessman.) And any
business that doesn’t make a profit isn’t a business.
In fact, every business runs on the numbers. The CEO
may also have a good understanding of marketing or engineering or other
areas relevant to his own business - but the common denominator is a good
understanding of money and corporate financial planning.
The same basic understanding of cash-flows and
accounting for where the money comes from and goes to applies both to very
large and very small firms (and all sizes in between.)
Speak of demographics’ analysis to many entrepreneurs
and you get a blank look. They have no idea of their target market, who
their customers might be, where they are, or how to attract them. Their
marketing strategies are often ill-planned - if they even have one. In
some cases they might like to increase their market exposure through a
marketing campaign or advertising, but simply don’t have the money to
spend.
Of course, beer-bar owners will say that they don’t
need all this technical nonsense - they just sit and wait for the
customers to come in - and a trip along Second Road or Beach Road any
evening might lead you to think that this is a business which cannot fail.
Why then are there always lots of bars and restaurants for sale?
“Location,” you might say. “That’s the only
thing you need worry about in the bar or restaurant business.” Okay,
location is indeed a very important factor. But why then does one
establishment do well and stay in business year after year and another
right across the road never has any customers and closes up after just a
few months?
Many failing entrepreneurs would tend to put the blame
solely on external factors, and be unwilling to consider factors somewhat
closer to home which would be more painful to accept. But this is not the
place to go into those reasons.
I know how tough it is to run one’s own business -
tougher than managing someone else’s. Having been an entrepreneur
myself, then working with a substantial international organization for
several years, and then choosing to become an entrepreneur again, I have
had the opportunity to look at both sides of the business coin, and
learned a few valuable lessons along the way.
Ingredients of
success
>From what I’ve seen and learned, the main
ingredients for successful entrepreneurship are: Attitude; Belief;
Courage; Determination; Effort; Finances.
Courage is what one needs to get going in the first
place. Many would-be entrepreneurs simply don’t have the courage to
leave their relatively safe salaried position to risk their own and their
families’ futures on what may or may not be a successful business
venture.
Having decided to take that first step - which is in
fact a giant leap into what is often uncharted territory - they have to
have Belief in themselves, the product or service they will be offering,
plus the Determination to succeed - the will to win.
The Effort they put in will go a long way to
determining the growth and success or otherwise of their venture. Sitting
on the beach watching the world go by will probably not produce much
business - unless you’re in the ‘kao pat’ or ice-cream vending
business.
Most successful entrepreneurs work harder and longer
than when they worked for someone else. But working for oneself brings its
own rewards, both spiritually and financially, and one keeps the profits
of one’s efforts.
Attitude towards one’s business and one’s customers
will also have a great bearing on an entrepreneur’s success.
People are generally turned off by a
couldn’t-give-a-damn attitude and second-rate service, and are unlikely
to become regular customers. Negative reports to others on poor attitude
or service can also lose potential customers. Those entrepreneurs who
“try harder” (to borrow Avis’ motto) and set high standards of
service - especially in an area where mediocrity seems to be the norm -
are more likely to thrive and become successful.
A positive attitude towards the locale helps also. It
is difficult to have continued confidence in an entrepreneur who is
constantly bemoaning his situation, running down Pattaya, Thailand, and
the people, and cannot wait for the opportunity to sell out and get away
to yet another greener pasture.
But who forced him to set up here? One doesn’t have
to look at the situation through rose-coloured spectacles (which some
entrepreneurs were evidently still wearing when they originally decided to
stay here) and pretend everything is perfect.
Those of us who have chosen Thailand as our home may
enjoy the many benefits this place has to offer more, and tolerate its
negative aspects better, if we keep in mind those wise words of St.
Francis: to pray for the courage to change what one can, the patience to
accept what one cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.
(To be continued next week)
Snap Shot: Better portraits -
the 10 golden rules
by Harry Flashman
What do people take most photographs of? Simple -
people! Now how many of your people shots are great? How many are average?
And how many are just OK and get left in photo files in the drawer? For
most people, their people shots tend to be of the last category. However,
do not despair, this week I give you the 10 golden rules, so that you too
can get results just like the local “professional” photo shop. It
doesn’t depend upon what type of camera you have, it just needs you to
do a little planning.
Rule 1. Walk in closer. It is the single most important
tip to better portraits. Even with a point and shoot compact, walk in till
the subject fills the viewfinder from the waist up.
Rule 2. If you have a camera with a “portrait mode”
then use it! This is one area where Harry and the manufacturers agree. The
portrait mode with modern cameras does work. It maximises the settings to
produce the most pleasing effect, gets rid of backgrounds and sets the
exposure to allow for the best skin tones. Use it.
Rule 3. Use the flash in daylight. If you have a fancy
camera with “Fill Flash” facility, then turn it on and you will see
the prints you get back from the photo processor have now got sparkle and
punch. If you have not, but have a flash you mount on top of the camera,
use it, and turn it to around f2.8 to f4. This will not overpower the
daylight, but will give catch-lights in the eyes.
Rule 4. Watch for horrible backgrounds. It is so easy
to concentrate so hard on the subject that you do not really “see” the
background, which can be confusing and cluttered. Try to keep the subject
as far away as possible from all backgrounds and if you have manual mode
or aperture priority mode, then set the aperture f-stop at around f5.6.
Rule 5. Shoot in the early mornings or in the late
afternoons. At both of these times the light is more flattering than it is
at mid-day, where you will get harsh shadows cutting across the face from
the nose.
Rule 6. If you have a zoom or a telephoto lens then now
is the time! Using around 135 mm, this is called by some people the ideal
portrait lens, then you again flatter the face and help throw the
background out of focus - particularly if you have followed Rule number 4.
Rule 7. Turn the camera on its side so you have the
viewfinder in portrait mode as well. People are taller than they are wide,
so it makes sense to have the maximum dimension vertically, doesn’t it!
By all means, take a couple of shots in the so-called horizontal
“landscape” view, but the majority should be verticals.
Rule 8. The nose is not the central point of any
portrait. In the centre of the viewfinder there is generally a small area
which you can use for getting the focus point. After you have set the
focus, move the central point off the person’s nose! The more likely
central point will be the mouth or chin.
Rule 9. Super trick! Use a gold coloured reflector to
give the skin that healthy glow. Just glue some gold wrapping paper to a
piece of cardboard about 1 metre square and get an assistant to move it so
it reflects “golden glow” into the subject. This is particularly
flattering for pale skinned folk.
Rule 10. With older subjects stretch a piece of nylon
stocking tightly across the lens. This will act as a soft focus filter and
smooth out many of the wrinkles we like to pretend we haven’t got!
Follow those ten simple hints and you will soon be taking shots as good
as, if not better than the local neighbourhood portrait photographer.
After all, he’s only following those 10 steps as well.
Modern Medicine: Cancer rates increase - are we all going to croak?
by Dr Iain Corness, Consultant
According to the American Cancer Society, the number of
new U.S. cancer cases is expected to increase 3.8 percent, to a record
1.33 million this year, but the death rates for the top four killer
cancers will decline.
These seemingly paradoxical statements need to be
looked at a little further to get the true picture of what is happening.
Remembering always that there are lies, damned lies and statistics!
What has also to be remembered is that cancer, by and
large, is a disease of aging. If more of us get to “old age”, there
will be more of us likely to begin to develop cancers of all types. That
being the case, the number of new cancer cases will increase as well, and
eventually we all have to die of something, and in the US it is most
likely to be heart disease, followed by cancers of all types.
In the American scenario, cancer deaths are expected to
rise this year to 556,500 from 555,500 last year, but the increase
reflects the aging of the American population, the cancer society says in
its annual Cancer Facts & Figures report.
Now, what about the fact that death rates are supposed
to be declining for lung, breast, colon and prostate cancer? This is
correct, as we (the medical fraternity) are developing new anti-cancer
drugs, and new invasive and non-invasive techniques to combat Jack the
Dancer. We can diagnose the condition faster and have more ways of dealing
with it. In fact, the five year survival rate for all cancers (except
non-melanoma skin cancer and most non-invasive cancers) is expected to be
62 percent. That just means that 62 percent of people diagnosed with
cancer will still be alive 5 years later. Please note, that is not a
guarantee for longevity if you get diagnosed with cancer aged 103!
So which cancers are the top killers? In the USA, lung
cancer is expected to claim 157,200 lives this year; colorectal cancer,
57,100; breast cancer 39,800; and prostate cancer, 28,900. The society
predicts new cases of lung cancer in 2003 will total 171,900; colorectal
cancer, 147,500; breast cancer, 211,300; and prostate cancer, 220,900. In
America this is equivalent to around 1,500 lives every day.
Again, according to the American Cancer Society,
tobacco use remains the most preventable cause of death and is expected to
account for 30 percent of all cancer deaths and 87 percent of lung cancer
deaths. Read those figures again - 87 out of every 100 lung cancer cases
are related to smoking. America-wide, about 23 percent of adults over 18
smoke and Kentucky has the highest percentage of adult smokers, about 31
percent, and also the highest lung cancer death rate in men. How strange!
Quite frankly, I don’t care how much the cigarette smokers whinge about
the new restaurant regulations in this country - the government has done
them a favour, and for the non-smokers who no longer have to run the risk
of getting lung cancer through atmospheric pollution from their
second-hand cigarette smoke, called passive smoking.
The American Cancer Society also stresses early
detection through screening for breast, colon, rectal, prostate and
uterine cancer. And it recommends cancer-related checkups that can detect
thyroid, oral, skin, lymph node, testicular and ovarian cancers. I can
only say I agree wholeheartedly.
Heart to Heart with Hillary
Dear Hillary,
The other morning I picked up my husband’s clothes which he
had left in the bathroom, having been out for a night on the town with the boys.
In the pocket there were some little diamond shaped blue pills. I did not say
anything to him about this, as I didn’t want him to think I go through his
pockets, but this has worried me. Are these the pills they call “ya ba”? I
know there is a crackdown on all kinds of drugs at present. Do you think he is
an addict and should I force him to go and see a doctor?
Worried Wife
Dear WW,
You are having me on, aren’t you, my Petal. Let me
reassure you that illegal drugs such as ya ba do not come in neat blue diamonds,
but the ones you have found are much more likely to be “Yah Hoo!” pills.
These have been analysed and are found to contain 3% Vitamin E, 2% Aspirin, 2%
Ibuprofen, 1% Vitamin C, 5% Spray Starch and 87% Fix-A-Flat. Suggest you give
him some condoms before his next boys night out and say, “These will go with
your medication, dear.”
Dear Hillary,
My wife (Thai) and I are expecting our first child sometime
soon. We are very happy about this, but have started to argue over the name of
the baby. I want him (we had a test to see what sex the baby is) to have a
British name, but Noi wants him to have a Thai name. For once, Noi has really
not left me any choice here and it is souring our relationship. She thinks that
anyone like you who writes for the newspapers has to be clever, and I said I
would ask you what you thought. Have you the answer to my problems?
Greg
Dear Greg,
The only person who is important in this dispute is the
child, not you and not Noi. One good aspect of living here is that if a child
hates his or her name, he or she can change it very easily. Now if you and Noi
will just stop bickering and look sensibly at this, why not give your son and
heir a name that fits into both English and Thai? Something like Tam, Ric or
Nat. There’s lots of names out there, but it’s time you pair got together
and worked it out, rather than referring such miniscule “problems” to
someone like me, no matter how “clever” your Noi thinks I am. Which I am, of
course!
Dear Hillary,
I want to lose some weight. About 6 or 7 kilos, that’s all,
and around the tummy mainly, but I have tried many diets in the past and they
don’t seem to work on me. I do like to snack, but it is because I get so
hungry. Have you any guaranteed way I can lose weight? I am going to England in
one month and want to get it off before I get there.
Poompui
Dear Poompui,
What am I now? A dietician too! (Mr. Editor, please note,
I want a raise if I am expected to be capable of multi-tasking!) You want
guarantees, my Petal? I can certainly give you a guaranteed way that you can
lose several kilos of ugly fat immediately - just chop off your arm. Come off
it, Poompui. You know that the only way to lose weight is to watch what you eat
and exercise more. Try eating water beetles or deep fried scorpions for
breakfast - that should turn your tummy off food for the rest of the day! It’s
time you took responsibility for your own weight. I am sure nobody is force
feeding you, are they? Watch your food - watch it, don’t eat it!
Dear Hillary,
One of the office girls is always asking me for advice on
this and that. She never manages to keep a boyfriend and it is always tales of
tragedy and questions as to what she should do about it. Should she go to live
with him? Should she not? Should she go out with someone else? I have been
fairly patient up till now, but the daily agony is starting to get me down, and
the other workers are now talking about me behind my back because she is always
in my office. The last thing I need is this sort of rubbish. I am also a bit
worried that the wife might hear about this and take it the wrong way. What
should I do to get this girl to stop? I don’t want to add to her problems, she
seems to have enough already.
The Shoulder
Dear Shoulder,
You know what to do to get out of this, just as you knew
what was likely to happen when you got into this! Having let it get this far you
are going to have to be fairly blunt, and every time she appears just smile and
say you are too busy right now and please come back tomorrow when you might have
more time. She will get the message and you will be able to sleep peacefully at
night - until the next office girl knocks on the door.
Personal Directions: Finding peace of mind amidst
today’s madness
by Christina Dodd,
founder and managing director of Asia Training Associates
So many people I know these days just roll their eyes
back and shake their heads when they turn on the television or open the
newspaper in the morning. The headlines shriek out in large black type -
of nuclear weapons, diplomatic threats, individual crimes, government
abuses and so on!
So loud is the shrieking that we think - “it’s just
impossible to relax in this world. There’s too much trouble everywhere
and it’s gotten out of hand.”
But the thing is, we can relax. We can create peace of
mind even when others reel with anxiety. Tension is nothing new. The world
has seen many troubled days throughout history and strife has always been
part of the fabric of society. We may not enjoy it, but it is a fact that
we live and we survive amidst incredible turmoil.
We learn to live with these pressures and even to win
out in the pressure-cooker world we have created. Our life is not
worthwhile if we cannot attain a feeling of solitude, of quietness. We
must bed down with our souls and breath in gentle tranquility.
In the words of the great Greek philosopher Plato,
“Nothing in the affairs of men is worthy of great anxiety.”
And we can learn to be calm. First off, we must believe
that a state of inner calm is a realizable goal. It may not be easy for
those of us who are used to having jumpy, pushy, frantic people around us.
We may think that “calm” is an unattainable state. It is not.
Millions of people torture themselves with anxiety.
Indecisive and fearful, they cannot accept their feelings and
shortcomings. It is difficult for them to make up their minds about
anything, and they feel guilty over what they regard as their failures in
life. They act too impulsively - or are afraid to act at all. Anxiety
becomes a way of life for them and they know nothing of the feelings of
success and confidence.
In the fight to become calm - and yes, for some of us
it is a fight - we have to start off by accepting our anxieties, not
blaming ourselves for them because blame is a very destructive force. The
more secure our self acceptance is, the more we can come to peace with
ourselves, with our weaknesses, the more attainable is the goal of
calmness.
A pleasant room in your mind
When you were a child, did you have a favourite room to
which you went when you were unhappy with the rest of the world? Maybe it
was furnished cozily with soft-cushioned chairs and throw rugs and your
most treasured possessions.
This is what each of us needs - a serene room in our
own mind - a retreat in which to nurse our wounds when the strains of the
world become unbearable. In the seclusion of this peaceful chamber in our
mind, we can recuperate from life’s fast pace, refresh ourselves for the
new day to come. In this little mental compartment we can make peace with
ourselves, accepting our insecurities, re-picturing our most cherished
memories, setting our present goals, imaging a future full of life, faith
and hope, free of resentment and worry.
Take a daily vacation
Normally we limit our vacation time to a few weeks in
the year, and some of us take them all at once while others spread them
out over a period of time. What is important is not to take a vacation
such as this - but to take a vacation every day. Not once in a while, but
every day. Every day take a flight into the freedom you can give in the
quiet room of your mind.
It doesn’t have to be for a lengthy period because we
all have daily responsibilities to attend to. But it can be a period of
time just long enough to enable us to escape from the shackles of
civilization, re-affirm our convictions and return to the realities with
increased vigor and energy.
Don’t be afraid of “escapism”
Some people frown on the word “escapism”. They
think it is cowardly and that we should face up to everything front on! To
live a happy life, we must come to grips with reality; anything else is an
evasion and a misuse of productive energies. But it is a fatal mistake to
feel that this is a twenty-four hour-a-day task. If we take ourselves this
seriously we will always be tense. We will be able to tackle our problems
more forcefully if we are able to relax and to re-invigorate ourselves
with restful sleep. Sometimes “escaping from it all” can be a big help
to the busiest and most successful person.
Never be afraid to “escape” and never look upon it
as a waste of time!
I am not talking here about harmful, self-destructive
mechanisms of escape. I am talking about positive and wholesome,
up-lifting mechanisms such as relaxing in the quiet room of your mind,
listening to soothing and almost caressing music, taking yourself on an
enlightening holiday, giving yourself the time to read the books you’ve
always put aside because everything else was more important.
These and others ways to escape are refreshing to the
soul and provide nourishment that will enable you to function more
effectively in the swift-moving world we live in. Without these safety
valves, we are very similar to a pressure cooker that is about to explode!
Sometimes a change of pace can do you good and this is
why so many people love to travel. New images of known or unknown places
bring refreshment to the mind. Sometimes travel can help to solve
problems. It stops us from “thinking too much”. And it’s true. When
we have to make decisions in our busy lives we spend so much time thinking
that we never get to make the decisions! Forcing thinking and decision
making does more harm than good.
For more information on this subject and other matters
relating to personal growth and development, please contact me by email at
christina.dodd @atasiam.com and visit Asia Training Associates at www.
asiatrainingassociates.com. Until next time, have a wonderful week.
Social Commentary by Khai Khem
What has happened to Thai society in the past few years?
Since Thailand opened its arms gladly to
industrialization, technology, multi-cultural influences, information and
different ways of thinking its populous no longer clings to all of its old
cultural beliefs and philosophies. In the push for modernization, many of
the finer aspects of Thai culture have fallen under the wheels of
progress.
There are many sectors of Thai society which grieve to
see the negative impact this has had upon ordinary Thais and projects are
being conceived to keep some of the old ways and teachings alive.
We know that some members of the younger generation
amongst us are paying a terrible price for missing out on what it used to
mean to be ‘Thai’. We ask ourselves, how did these changes come about
so rapidly and catch us so unaware. It’s simple. We were busy doing
something else.
Thai parents, just like their counterparts in the West,
are losing control over their children. Outside influences are stronger
and more prolific than one mother, a father and a few caring family
members, some neighbors or a favorite teacher. Like other places around
the world, whole communities now must pull together to enforce law and
order, quality of life and even safety. Thankfully there is some hope of
being able to do just that. We need to keep it alive.
Life in most cities has sped up to a frenetic pace.
Pattaya has a lot of problems keeping up with modernization and still
maintaining social order. Government officials cannot be expected to do
everything. We must help ourselves and each other. This is happening
through charity organizations, community service groups, and many
individuals who make time to volunteer their help, AND even government
agencies. Schools are taking more responsibility for organizing healthy
and productive activities for students and we can expect to see some
benefits from these efforts in the near future.
A long-lasting and positive answer to welcoming the
youth of our nation back into the respectable fold will take time. Right
now, we have a large number of youngsters who are in danger of being
permanently lost to us because of neglect, crime and drugs. Like the two
or more generations we have lost to HIV infection and AIDS, it is quite
possible many of our young criminals and addicts will never reclaim their
shattered lives.
So what do we do about it? If we have no effective
programs that cure drug addicts and keep criminals from being repeaters,
we simply recycle them back into society in the same mangled shape when
law enforcement and rehab centers first encountered them.
Do we employ the USA’s policy that three convictions
for criminal offenses keep violators in prison with little possibility of
release? If that is something to consider, we should forget about the
government’s housing for the poor project and start building more
prisons all over the nation, NOW.
Decades ago the USA built housing for its poverty
stricken citizens and these low-income housing projects rapidly became
concrete slums riddled with crime and violence, drug dealers’
headquarters and moribund monuments of despair, fear and suicide. Police
avoided the areas and they became islands of anarchy.
Isolation and incarceration are methods already in use
in some countries. As long as the marginalized in society are kept off the
streets and out of sight of more respectable people, nobody cares. This is
one way to deal with social misfits.
There is another. Catch them when they’re young and
impressionable. I applaud the efforts of Pattaya’s many clubs and
organizations that deal directly with our children who are still young
enough to impress with kindness and loving care. And all the parents of
children who are not social problems and will never become involved in
drugs, crime and anti-social behavior should also be commended. Parenting
is hard work and success should be acknowledged.
Some of the region’s programs for kids include the
whole family so that parents receive education on how to raise their
children and the interaction is more complete. Most of these activities
and seminars are free.
Some facilities take in children who have been
abandoned or orphaned and even though the centers have a limited amount of
space and funding, there is a real effort to give love, care, education
and quality of life to these unfortunates so that they may grow up
well-adjusted and productive.
One of the things we must face is that the growing
crime rate and increased drug abuse in young people reflects a breakdown
of mental health in our society. Psychiatric and psychological problems
are not being adequately diagnosed or treated. We have a serious lack of
educated professionals in this field.
Time moves forward and we must move with the times.
That doesn’t mean we have to let all of the things that make Thailand
unique fall by the wayside. We can still teach good manners, kindness and
social responsibility without dropping out of the world. We just have to
pull together. Locking up every youngster who goes ‘bad’ is only a way
to get them out of our faces. It is not a viable solution for the future.
Let’s get back to basics and teach Thais self-esteem through goodness of
character.
Women’s World: Life after death
by Lesley Warner
Before I start on this week’s article I would like to
mention to those that noticed, the medication featured in the photo in
Woman’s World “Depression” issue 500 were antibiotics for my throat,
not pills for depression as some people have asked me. I used them as
‘props’ for my photo not dreaming that the print would show when it
reached the newspaper!
What
does the future hold?
I was sitting having a meal in a restaurant the other
evening with my mother and stepfather. We were trying to think of
interesting new subjects for this column. My stepfather said, “What about
widowhood?” I said, “No, because I really like to have had some
experience, in some way or another with what I write.” Then my mum popped
up with, “Well you did, what about with me when dad died.” This made me
remember that awful time; it must be 23 years ago now. My dad was only 52
years old when he died. Until now I never realized just how young that is to
die. He died of the dreaded cancer and it was as bad as it could get. I was
eight months pregnant at the time and didn’t know what to do with my mum;
she came to stay with us until the baby was born.
If I explain a little about the relationship that mum and
dad had maybe it will make her total inability to cope when he died more
understandable. They met at the mess hall dance when dad was in the air
force, he was quite a ‘jack the lad’ and very handsome. Mum thought he
was far too fond of himself and brought him down a peg or two; he said she
was the only girl who gave him the cold shoulder, so he fell in love with
her immediately. It turned out that they had lived next door to each other
and played together as small children. They soon married and literally lived
happily ‘almost’ ever after. Thirty years later dad was still the
eternal romantic, going outside and knocking on the door to deliver mum a
red rose when they were going out.
The one fatal mistake that dad made was he was in control
of everything, bank statements, insurance, keys, anything to do with
paperwork or the house. Mum was totally incapable of performing anything
practical in the house; for example changing a light bulb or even cleaning
the dishwasher. He did everything, insisting on treating her like a lady.
This is all well and good but when he died she was so devastated and totally
incapable of coping with the smallest thing. She didn’t even know which
key fitted the garage door, where the insurance documents were, absolutely
nothing about the running of their day-to-day life. It was like have a
zombie in the house. She just looked vacant, lost and empty; it was awful. I
didn’t know where to start. This is so typical of the women of this age
group. When they lose their partner they are cut loose and terrified after
being so dependant for so many years.
I took her home to live with me but it was pretty hectic
in our house with the dogs and children. She cried all the time and was very
depressed so the doctor gave her some pills. The pills just made her into
more of a zombie and I worried about leaving her. She even broke her ribs
one day when she took the dustbin out, loosing her balance and falling on
it.
My baby was born and still things had not improved. My
gran then stepped in and said that it was not good for my children to have
mum there, she was still crying all the time. Mum didn’t feel able to go
back to the house that her and dad had lived in so she bought a small
bungalow.
Gran took charge and looked after her while we tried to
get her settled into her new home.
To be continued...
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