Travel Well: You won’t stay thin at Hua Hin!

by Mary Mac

Hua Hin, about 180 kilometres South West from Bangkok, became known as a holiday resort in the 1920s and has enjoyed many periods of popularity since then. However, after a quiet spell recently, Hua Hin (and Cha-Am) are now climbing back on to the tourist wave.

Waiting samlor.

Situated on the West coast of the Bay of Siam, Hua Hin has its own personality and should not be thought of as "another Pattaya". This region is easily reached via the wide and mainly 4 lane Highway 4 from Bangkok, or by train with even less hassle.

In fact, the railway has had a special significance for Hua Hin, with one of the first and most significant hotels designed by the Railways Authority of Thailand’s resident architect. The hotel was, not surprisingly, called the Railway Hotel! That original hotel is still there in Hua Hin, now run by the Sofitel Group and renamed the Sofitel Central Hua Hin. The buildings and grounds are fine examples of colonial splendour with topiary trees and wooden salas complementing the architecture of the main hotel buildings.

Statue to Muay Thai Champion.

Perhaps one of the best features of Hua Hin is the calm and even pace of the town. It is a place to relax, as opposed to the frenetic parties of Pattaya! One of its features is the fine dining area of Damnoenkasem Road as it runs down towards the beach and the Sofitel Central. Highly recommended is the new Hua Hin Admirals Pub (run by the Jomtien principals of our local Admirals Pub). The steaks there are the best in town. On the same street, try the Mamma Mia Italian restaurant and then work your way down the street every night if you haven’t found a favourite already.

Ponies on the beach.

Like all seaside resort towns, the beach is an important part of any holiday there. Ponies and horses are available on the beach for walks and trots with asking prices of around B200 for the hour, but barter from there! The sand is beautifully white, although on my last visit there were Portuguese Man o’ War jelly fish washed up on the foreshore, so swimming right now could be a problem.

One immediate difference between the Eastern Seaboard beaches and the Hua Hin sands is the position of the sun. On the Western beaches sunrise is over the ocean, as opposed to sunset here.

Seaside dining.

Similar to some of the establishments off walking street in Pattaya or on the waterside at Sri Racha, there are guest houses and restaurants stretching out over the water’s edge. Cheap and minimal, you can get a place to hang your head from 200 Baht upwards.

In keeping with the relaxed atmosphere of Hua Hin, getting about is slow and easy too. Preferred modes of public tourist transport include the graceful pedal Samlors and the Tuk-Tuks more usually seen in Bangkok. Even the approach by the drivers is less aggressive than here in Tinsel Town.

Golf is a firm favourite for people holidaying at Hua Hin, with many top line courses available for the holidaying golfer. Try the Royal Hua Hin Golf Course (032) 512 475 for a course designed by Scotsman A.O. Robins in 1924 and imagine just how many golf balls have been lost in the past 74 years.

In the evenings, there are a few small bars, but nocturnal pursuits in Hua Hin are more of the edible kind than the electrifying variety. With so many restaurants to choose from, you will not go home hungry from Hua Hin - just remember to start in Damnoenkasem Road and you cannot go wrong.

Wines of our times: “Bubbles, Bubbles, Bubbles”

by Mr. Yves M. Delecour

Here we are, another year has passed and it’s party time once more. Let the spirit of Christmas and New Year set in.

For most of us Champagne is synonymous with end of the year festivities.

Next year will be "The Year of the Champagne", as demand for this festive beverage will reach its peak at the wake of the new millennium.

Today at last, the name "Champagne" can only refer to the wine produced in the Champagne region of France. Its "Appellation Controlee".

Any other wine produced in the exact same manner, basically with the second fermentation in the bottle, but from another region or country, can only be called "Methode Champenoise" or "Methode traditionnelle" and of course cannot bear the name CHAMPAGNE on the label.

The Champagne region produces more than 200 million bottles a year.

The elaboration of Champagne is expensive because it involves a lot of time and labour which means money.

To add to the cost, 80% of the wines produced are non vintage which means that the producers blend together four to five different vintages to ensure the best possible character for their wines.

To keep wines over such a long period of time, you need adequate storage capacity which in turn also means money, a lot of money.

If you cannot afford real "Champagne", or if you don’t want to spend so much, especially in our market, you can settle for a "Methode Champenoise", either French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Australian or American to mention just a few.

Although "Champagne" will always remain the best sparkling wine money can buy, Methode traditionnelle, Methode Charnat or Cuve Close, and Carbonated wines represent cheaper alternatives that can perfectly suit the mood of the party.

Methode Champenoise and Cuve Close are the best choices. Carbonated wines should only be used as a cocktail ingredient.

For a cocktail, try the "Kir Royal". To make a Kir Royal you need a blackcurrant liqueur (Creme de Cassis) and Champagne or any other sparkling white wine.

1/7 of liqueur 6/7 of champagne is the dosage.

If you replace the blackcurrant with a peach liqueur you make a "Peach Royal".

For Vintage Champagne you do not need to know if the year is good or not as Vintage Champagne is only bottled in the best years.

As the festive season in our part of the world can last for a few weeks with Christmas, New Year and Chinese New Year, Champagne Rosé is worth a try, a nice change to the more traditional ones.

If you are a purist, a Blanc de Blancs 100% Chardonnay could satisfy your expectations.

Champagne comes in Extra Brut, Brut, Dry and Demi-sec. These words rank the dryness of the wine from the driest to the less dry.

If you are not a purist, but if you enjoy discovering new pleasures, new tastes without necessarily sacrificing quality, and I am not sure many of my compatriots would agree with me, try sparkling red wines; "Methode Champenoise". Some nice examples come from Portugal but one I sincerely enjoyed not so long ago was a sparkling Shiraz Methode Champenoise from Australia.

I will not recommend a brand name as there are many available and it’s not the purpose of this column.

To stay in festive mood, may I suggest you try the whole meal with Champagne starting with a Non Vintage or Rosé as apéritif moving onto a Blanc de Blancs with starters, then a Vintage for the main course and finishing either with an older vintage or a Demi-sec with the sweets.

Whatever you plan to do for Christmas and New Year do not think twice. Put Bubbles on your menu and enjoy it.

Film Review: Saving Private Ryan

by Barrie Kenyon

Steven Spielberg’s first venture with Tom Hanks looks at first sight like a brilliant anti war movie. The first twenty minutes shows the stomach churning slaughter of GIs on Omaha beach, although the Germans get their gory pay back later. The violence displayed throughout is perhaps the most realistic enactment of the horrors of war on individual soldiers in no hope situations ever to come out of Hollywood. In this context, Saving Private Ryan takes off where All Quiet On The Western Front, Das Boot and Stalingrad started.

Alternatively, maybe the basic messages are not anti war after all. Hardly anyone questions the morality of war and the American big brass are shown carrying out their duties with dignity and understanding. Admittedly, a captured German gunner utters obscenities against Hitler, but only as a ploy to have his life spared. The ethics of gunning down soldiers attempting to surrender is routine and mostly acceptable to the perpetrators in context. The central issue is in fact the rights and wrongs of saving private Ryan, who has disappeared behind enemy lines in France, at the cost of the deaths of several of the group attempting to track him down. How do you quantify the worth of human beings? What are the ethical issues arising from carrying out orders?

The movie hardly deals with the broader strategic issues of the D Day landings, except to stress that allied progress on the ground in practice was a far cry from plans in the war room. Indeed, the graphic nature of this unusual film serves as a reminder that the June 1944 invasion was a damned, close run thing. If Hitler had realized that the Normandy landings were for real rather than a diversionary attack, if Rommel had not been on leave in Germany or had had operational control of the reserve Panzer units, if the weather had been slightly worse... then victory might have been snatched from the allies. Saving Private Ryan is probably a movie you’ll only want to see once. But its impact could last long after you have left the cinema.

The computer doctor

by Richard Bunch

Well, Christmas is here with the New Year close on its heels. This New Years Eve will no doubt be a time of joy and excitement but will next years New Years Eve be a time of wonderment? Will the PC still be working after midnight?

I guess that if you haven’t heard or seen anything of the Y2K then you must have been in hibernation. If you have heard about it, have you taken action? Or at the very least determined whether you need to take action? This is a situation that will not go away, it has to be faced head-on! If you just use your computer for playing games, then maybe you’ll have to find some other escape but if you are in a business and rely on computers, then potentially you could be doomed.

The problem affects both the hardware and software and of course not just computers. Will the microwave still function? The fax still work? But for now we’ll content ourselves with computers. To start with, it is wise to check that the BIOS can cope. The test for this is very simple, start the computer in DOS mode and change the date to 31/12/99 (or however your regional settings dictate) and the time to 23:59, then power off. The command for these are date and time respectively. Wait, say 5 minutes then start the PC, again in DOS mode, check the date has registered the year 2000 and the time has advanced. If it hasn’t then note the BIOS manufacturer, revision, etc. The major Main Board manufactures have websites, check it out. It may be that an update is available, if it isn’t then you’ll need to replace the Main Board. In any event, reset the date and time to reflect the current position.

With regards to software, the big boys, Microsoft, Lotus, etc., have information readily available on their Websites, check them out. Custom applications are particularly vulnerable and enquiries need to be made of the software authors.

Software that calculates using dates is an obvious potential problem, because some software only uses the two digit year, it could be that the software considers your son is your father! In my previous incarnation, being an IT manager for one of the main banks in England, I had heavy involvement with this and even 3 years ago the mechanisms were in place, or more accurately the exercise was nearing completion, thereby ensuring the Y2K was a non-event.

I hope I have not been too alarmist but it is wise to prepare. Remember, by planning ahead the costs will be substantially less than if disaster strikes.

Remember, keep your comments coming in about the quality of the local Internet Service Providers (ISP’s) a pattern is starting to emerge and from a professional point of view the main consensus seem to agree with me!

The Computer Doctor wishes all Pattaya Mail readers a very Merry Christmas.

Send your questions or comments to the Pattaya Mail at 370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, 20260 or Fax to 038 427 596 or E-mail to [email protected].

Richard Bunch is Managing Director of Action Computer Technologies, the One Stop Shop for all your computer and Information Technology needs.

Thirteen reasons why Santa Claus is a woman

by Barrie Kenyon

1. Most men wouldn’t be seen dead wearing red velvet.
2. Those men loving red velvet would never survive the security screening.
3. Men can’t pack a bag or tie up parcels properly.
4. Men based in the polar regions alas don’t answer letters.
5. 99% of men aren’t interested in stockings unless there is an attractive woman in them.
6. Note - Pattaya may be an exception to the above rule.
7. Men performing the Ho Ho Ho routine seldom make good lovers.
8. Being surrounded by elves, fairies and reindeer is bad for a man’s image in the community.
9. Men dislike doing charity work, especially on Christmas Eve.
10.Men would give the game away by leaving the red uniform in the laundry basket.
11. Men over 100 kilos dislike having to deal with chimneys and roof slates.
12. You can’t profitably put being a Father Christmas on your CV.
13. Children under 10 wouldn’t appreciate a special offer Viagra ad in their stocking.

The Mystery Run - by Mystery Hares: Pattaya Hash House Harriers Run 771 - 14-Dec-98

It was described as the "Mystery Run" with "Mystery Hares". On arrival at the A-Site the "Mystery" took on a more sinister aspect as the hares had not turned up at the A-Site. Written instructions concerning the run, its length and the advisability of weapons to fight wild dogs were read out on behalf of the "Mystery Hares" for the benefit of hashers by Chicken Fellow who stayed by the beer track rather than do the run. That is discussed more fully below.

Off we went and as promised the run proved to be a lengthy one. I, along with fellow hashers, felt some concern at hashing, becoming lost in the jungle with the onset of nightfall. The concern proved to be well founded. Salvatore and myself being among the front runners at the A-site, darkness had already fallen. After one or two beers reports came in of a group of runners headed along the highway toward Rayong. Some runners came in by motorcycle and then 2 came in by taxi after 7 p.m. Did anyone count them out and count them in again? There may even now be hashers out there.

Whilst waiting for the forming of the circle the hashers were treated to the sight of Fossil wearing more cloths than I have previously seen worn in Thailand on account of what Fossil describes as "the cold". Nevertheless, as always Fossil continues to look sexy and fetching in her own imitating way.

During this period I made enquiry of our previously estranged and notable hashers Sir Airhead and Chicken Fellow concerning why they had as they admitted sat around the beer truck drinking beer rather then getting into the action.

Chicken Fellow explained he was injured and I suppose we must on balance accept this taking into account his birthday. My particular concern in this matter, and I and some fellow hashers will agree, is directed at Sir Airhead. How many times have we heard Sir Airhead describe himself as a ‘Real Man". On Monday we found out when the chips went down he stayed by the beer truck, drinking beer rather than getting into the action. How can this man week in week out seek out sinners and torture often quite innocent hashers? That is a matter of greatest concern to the hash.

It is also perhaps appropriate to discuss the continuing and developing affection of Who Ate All The Pies for the presence of the beer truck rather then actually doing the run. Out of respect for his notable military career it would not be appropriate to discuss the matter further other than to express extreme concern and that the matter should be the subject of further enquiry.

The circle was at last called and Who Ate All The Pies held his customary auction. Bids did not reach the dizzy highest seen recently. However, both C. Face and Desi Swallow were iced for making unacceptable bids of only one Baht. Who Ate All The Pies repeatedly announced a minimum bid of 10 Baht is the accepted offer.

In the absence of the good R.A. Steamy Lump in Cambodia, it was given to the bad R.A. Sir Airhead to deal with the matter of the missing mystery hares. E-Joc-U-Late and Stealth Pedophile were appointed as surrogate hares. Pinky was iced for wearing a shirt which, although being a hash shirt, was of unacceptable and unbefitting standard even for the Pattaya Hash - a fact argued by few. Sir Airhead did broach upon the subject of Pinky wearing the shirt in the children’s department at Lotus but it is not now, perhaps, an appropriate time to go into this matter further. Nevertheless, by the singing of the hash hymn Pinky was seen wearing a much more acceptable shirt. Dinasoar D. was invited to join the surrogate hares on the ice for failing to wear the decoration (a toilet seat) which he earned the previous Monday.

To my astonishment, no doubt shared by fellow members of the hash, Sir Airhead exhibited a totally unexpected and uncharacteristic way of compassion not previously witnessed in relieving Dinasoar D. of his decoration. It was then duly awarded to the surrogate hares Stealth Pedophile on a vote described by Sir Airhead as true democracy at work. If you believe that you’ll believe anything. Sir Airhead then explained that Dinasoar D. could be relieved of his decoration because he would undoubtedly do some action to achieve further decoration in no time at all. I am sure this is a sentiment with which on reflection fellow hashers can only agree and any concern at any apparent tempering of Airhead’s evil ways can be safely discounted.

Sir Airhead then iced both Duck F. and Seagull S. for no particular reason and Pinky was invited to fill up the ice. Sir Airhead inquired into the manner in which Angeles City hashers tortured him on a recent visit. He was presented and perfectly handled numerous down-downs - an Angeles City record in fact - and has since established not only his own reputation but that of the Pattaya Hash with it.

Doctor Dick was iced and for the benefit of the hashers, Sir Airhead explained his previous name was Boring Kraut K. because he was thought of by the hash as being a Boring Kraut K. Sir Airhead then very kindly explained that inquiries revealed that Doctor Dick was living with no less than 7 women. His recent activities with the niece of his women was described but cannot possibly be repeated - even in such a mundane Monday publication as the Hash sheet.

Rocky of the Angeles City Hash was iced as a reprisal for the treatment of Pinky described above. Was this justified? Well, it was Pinky, and Rocky is from Angeles City hash. The choice is yours.

Well, it is nearly Christmas and hashers will no doubt be pleased to note that I am the hare for the run on the 28th December, the promised hare being unavailable or dead. Hashers can be assured the run will be hard but fun and I will wait like a true man by the beer truck for my punishment.

Merry Christmas
On On F. Nose

Look up the Pattaya Hash House Harriers on the Internet at http://members.tripod.com/~The_Nerd/hashsheet.html or email Susie at [email protected] or call 364 185. PH3 meets every Monday 15:30 hours at the Hare House in Soi Post Office.

Copyright 1998 Pattaya Mail Publishing Co.Ltd.
370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, Chonburi 20260, Thailand
Tel.66-38 411 240, 411 241, Fax:66-38 427 596; e-mail: [email protected]
Created by Andy Gombaz, assisted by Chinnaporn Sangwanlek.