Big ATM

Hi,

I’ve followed the various stories about ‘Big ATM’ with interest, having been in a similar position a few years back, and known many couples in the same state.

However, I have to say that some of the generalisations I’ve seen are unfair.

The motto regarding extracting girls from bars and vice versa, whilst largely true, does have its exceptions.

Living in England, I have seen disaster in many forms, and for some time (to be more specific, after my former wife left to live with an unemployed git) it was very tempting to sit with similarly afflicted friends and tar as many people as we could with the same brush.

However, after suitable reflection, I also saw that there were some couples who had made a success of their marriage, regardless of the girl’s origins.

Sure, there can be ups and downs, but that is normal for any marriage, greater in this case because of the cultural and language differences.

Also you have to be aware that if you take the girl out of her country, her main problem will be boredom. The temptation here will be to introduce her to as many Thais as possible, so that she feels at home. BEWARE - the majority of Thais you introduce her to abroad will very quickly introduce her to the local disco scene, where the intention is to fit her up with some boyfriend - the mirror image of the Thai mia luang/mia noi situation. This will be followed by a ‘friendly’ game of cards, where the goal is to make the girl lose as much as possible. Amounts of around £1000 are not uncommon. They will also ask your partner lots of in-depth questions about your financial position, and what percentage you hand out to your partner. This of course is all about the irresistible quality of ‘face’. Unless your partner is very strong and committed to the relationship, they will find themselves under almost irresistible pressure to put their new ‘friends’ ahead of their husband, and that is the root cause (assuming they had some commitment in the first place) of relationships breaking up.

In every successful marriage I have seen, the girl puts her partner ahead of her friends. All the successful cases are know are of older girls (30+) who have the sense to realise that a comfortable home, a good family and food on the table are a big improvement over the prospect of getting older, less attractive, and therefore less marketable.

I have recently remarried, to a lovely Thai girl (of a similar age to me) who I knew for 6 years before I finally overcame my past and made a commitment. What helped me to do so was realising that, along with the disasters, there are many happily married couples out there. The dice have now been spun, and hopefully my past experiences will help me spot the danger signs and react accordingly. I am now really looking forward to settling down with my wife and spending the rest of our years together (all together now, Ahhhhhhh!)

Am I being naive in thinking this? Possibly, but at some point you have to make a decision, and I’m as sure as I can be that I’ve made the right one.

One thing is for sure, I’m not going to spend the rest of my years alone, just because I found some minor fault with everyone I met.

I certainly don’t want to end up as one of those sad old chaps who live in Thailand, but don’t have a single good word to say about the place.

So, there are no guarantees in life and you just have to take your chances, although given the culture difference, there is some education to be had before making a firm choice (consult any Pattaya bar owner for details).

There is good and bad everywhere, but for God’s sake don’t turn down the chance of happiness just because you met her in a bar - just be wary.

Good luck to you all,

Bruce Hatton

Those 101 “illegal buildings”

Dear Sir,

I have not walked down the ‘Strip’ for some time, due partly to the prevailing chaos, and partly due to the fact that its use as a ‘Walking Street’ for part of the twenty-four hours seems to have been quietly abandoned. I did walk down, from end to end, yesterday afternoon. The far end is still more like a battle-field than a tourist attraction.

I was surprised to note that the demolition of the buildings seems already to have begun! Next to the ‘Lobster Pot’ restaurant a gap now exists, where once stood at least three or four useful and prosperous shop-fronts. A little further on a modest but established hotel is up ‘for sale’ - some hopes! Go further still and you will find a once popular fish restaurant closed, abandoned and gutted; nearby is a once well-used bar which has suffered the same fate.

No doubt some of this is the direct result of the damage caused by the drainage workers, but it is hard not to think that they have been in cahoots with City Hall to see just how many can be damaged beyond repair or further usefulness so that the demolition of the rest can be achieved with less opposition.

Elsewhere, the chaos in the city continues. This afternoon, without warning all northbound traffic was diverted away from the northern part of Second Road, i.e., from the intersection with Central Road onwards. How much longer have residents and visitors to put up with this high-handed action?

Please note: the erstwhile ‘101’ now seems to be down to 94 or 95. Keep counting!

Yours faithfully,

John B. Blyth

Get to know Fr. Giovanni before you judge him

Pattaya Mail,

I am writing this letter in response to the article printed in Issue 44 of the Pattaya Mail. I do not wish to review the article, picking out details to criticize or support. I wish only to share my thoughts about the man in question.

I have had the rare opportunity to meet someone truly inspirational. A man who has dedicated his life to caring for the dying while still maintaining such a feeling of life. Father Giovanni is one of the most compassionate, dedicated and honorable men I have ever met. He cares for people dying of AIDS. He spends each and every day tending to the people at the Camillian Center, checking on their well being, sharing a laugh or eating a meal.

Those who live at the center call Father Giovanni ‘PA’. Although this is the Thai word for father, they don’t say it because he is a priest. They call him ‘PA’ because he is the center of their family, the core that holds them all together and keeps them safe. He is their father. When all their relatives have abandoned them and society does not know where to put them, Father Giovanni brings them into his family. Although it is called the Camillian Center, it is really just a home. Care is taken to plant flowers, tend to a garden and sweep the grounds. Laundry is done, food is prepared and dishes are cleaned. All this is done by Father Giovanni and his extended family.

It is easy to read an article and judge a man. It is much more difficult to make the effort to know the man and judge for yourself. Those who have had the luck to have known Father Giovanni support him completely, without a second thought, because they have seen him at the center. They know that his heart is pure and his mission is only to help those in need. They have seen the way the children flock to him, the sick are comforted just by his being there. They know how many people he has had to watch die, people he has cared about and how many more there will be to come. Yet, despite all this, they have seen his ability to share life and joy and laughter with all those he meets.

I fully support Father Giovanni in all his endeavors. He is in a volatile field of work that has not always been welcome. AIDS is a difficult subject to acknowledge, accept and act upon. Despite all this, Father Giovanni continues to follow his heart. I only hope that others who have read the previous article will make the effort to get to know him before they come to any conclusion.

Emma Malone

Enjoying the entertainment at Delaney’s

Sir,

My normal Sunday lunch time visit to Delaney’s was heightened by the presence of "Tony and the Jazz men", a truly professional group of musicians that ranged from a Philippine lady singer with the sweetest voice I’ve heard for along time, a Russian keyboard player who was fantastic, an American guitarist who’s fingers were a blur up and down the frets, a further, I believe, American who made his sax all but talk to the audience and finally Bob Marley re-incarnated giving vocal backing with a few acrobatic splits on the floor to help him reach the high notes.

Those of you who had the good fortune to witness this group will, I am sure, agree with my sentiments and to Kim many thanks for providing a great Sunday afternoon entertainment.

Patryck

Wood for Scotty Walker

Dear Sir,

Scotty Walker (Mailbag, 6 Nov.) should at least consider working with bamboo: bamboo is readily available and, once you learn the tricks, easily worked.

Richard Lee Montgomery
Georgia USA

Editor’s addition: Two others have responded to your request. A person named Lambert left his phone number for you to call for more information: 630 093. Randy at 411 241 also says he can help.

Equal space for Father Giovanni

Pattaya Mail,

It is not uncommon to see dedicated people of different religious orders visiting entertainment establishments, at various hours, to educate the employees on the hazards of AIDS or to offer them an alternative lifestyle.

The Camillian Order dedicates their lives to caring for the sick of the world. Most priests take three vows; the Camillians take four, one being the vow of poverty, which precludes ownership in anything. If you care to see the dedication and love given to one’s fellow man, visit their center in Map-Ta-Phut and see Father Giovanni, a dedicated priest and a very special man, care for AIDS patients that have been rejected by their own families and don’t forget the children that are there through no fault of their own.

All religious orders depend on contributions, a great many international, and with Pattaya Mail being on the Web, this article written in a slanted manner for the sake of sensationalism, can have repercussions far beyond Pattaya City limits. I sincerely hope that when the truth be known, if it ever will be in the convoluted country, that Pattaya Mail devotes as much space to exonerate Father Giovanni as it did to damaging his impeccable reputation.

In Pattaya, where it is literally easier to buy someone’s body for sex than it is to buy an ice cream cone, it is a shame there are not more Father Giovannis and less disgruntled employees and police who will listen to them to earn an easy baht.

Dr. Dan

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