Dear Hillary,
My mother in law moved to Thailand to stay with us after her husband died. First I liked
the thought, but now she is driving me crazy. I always knew my husband and his mother were
close, but it’s really going to extremes. He has a younger brother who also lives
with us, but doesn’t receive near the attention my husband gets.
And when he tells me he loves me, he says in the same sentence how much he loves his
mother, too. She’s constantly staring at him and smiling as if he were the only
person on the planet. She constantly kisses and hugs him and tells him how much she loves
him. Is this normal?
Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
Your problem is, in fact, very common. His mother is only human. No matter how old your
husband is, he’ll always be mother’s "little boy". She may feel
threatened about your husband’s love for you. You are, in effect, the "other
woman", the one who makes her "little boy" not need Mom anymore.
What’s more, you’re younger than she is, so you’re making her feel her age.
Pretty soon she is afraid nobody will need her any more. None of this may be logical. But
since when was love - even mother love - logical? In this case, you may have to be the one
who does the "adult" thing. You’ll have to be understanding and patient of
her behavior, and, above all, you’ll have to avoid asking him (by words or deeds)
ever to choose between you and his mother. If you do, he’ll only resent it. I know
she turns you off, but if you want to stay with him, I suggest you make an effort to get
to really know her. Invite her out for coffee or shopping, ask for her advice even if you
really don’t need it, bring her a thoughtful little gift next time you go shopping -
there’s no limit to the small but meaningful things you could do. What you ultimately
want to do is prove to your husband’s mother that you are no threat to her
relationship with him. Let her know you as a friend, even a daughter, not a rival. Play
your cards right and you’ll have her eating out of your hand.
Presented by Bangkok-Pattaya Hospital
by Dr. Iain Corness
Well, I’ve got the undivided attention of all males
over the age of 50! Haven’t I? Sexual performance is unfortunately so intimately
bound up with our own expectations of masculinity that people feel that it has become a
very important issue.
However, this is really nothing new. And what’s more, the performance
enhancing business has always been with us, ever since man learned how to live past 50.
The "cure" has been wonder drugs, pills and potions, spells, incantations,
ground up rhino horn, snakes blood - the list is endless.
The plain and simple matter is, that as you get older the things you used
to do all night, now take all night to do! It is part and parcel of just being born some
time ago. Amongst all sorts of other things, your skin becomes less elastic, lines form on
your forehead, you start to lose your hair, (shortly followed by teeth, close vision and
memory, and not necessarily in that order!) and there’s not much you can do about it.
It’s not quite written in the stars, but it’s certainly written into your
genetic make-up. Accept the inevitable, chaps!
However, one doesn’t have to lie down and play dead, if you’ll
excuse the pun. Modern medical science has come up (that pun intended) with a couple of
answers for the "lead in the pencil" syndrome. But here’s the rub, you have
to be sure it is ONLY the aging process, and not the symptom of some underlying
pathological condition.
Hypertension, diabetes, some medications, vascular diseases and
neurological conditions may all present as increasing impotence. There are also other
factors to take into consideration, such as excessive alcohol abuse (it is a muscle
relaxant, not stimulant), job stress, relationship stress and other psychological
problems.
And that is just one reason why "Viagra" should not be available
"over the counter" for self medication. Willy the wonder wand might just be
lying down on the job to protect your flagging heart muscle. Any stimulus might just be
enough to tip the scales in the wrong direction!
There is no doubt about the fact that Viagra works, as does the
Prostoglandin penile injections which preceded it. However, their use should not be
undertaken till you have had a check-up to exclude disease process causes.
Go and discuss this with your doctor. Sure you may feel embarrassed about
it, but I can assure you we’ve heard it all before. Your predicament is, as I said at
the beginning of this article, as old as Methuselah (and he couldn’t get Viagra!).
By Leslie Wright
Continuing our discussion of risks & return from
various types of investments, this week we’re considering the international bond
markets.
As you are probably aware, bonds are basically debt. A government wishing
to undertake a major infrastructure project finances this by borrowing the required amount
of capital from the public. This process is known as "floating a bond issue."
A bond is simply a piece of paper on which the issuing government promises
to repay the loan after a stated period of time, and to pay a set amount of interest
regularly until that time.
It is because the interest payable (called the "dividend") is an
unchanging stated percentage of the principal amount (called the "coupon"), that
these instruments are called "fixed interest securities". The security aspect
derives from the fact that they are backed and guaranteed by a government.
Risk of default
The first risk attached to bonds is that the issuing government
might default - that is, be unable to repay the principal amount (the coupon) upon the
bond reaching its maturity date.
Bonds issued by stable Western governments are generally regarded as
low-risk investments.
This is because it is deemed highly unlikely that a government like the
U.S.A. or U.K. would ever default when the bond comes to maturity - that is, it comes time
for the holder to collect the coupon value, or loan principal.
Governments of smaller or less stable countries also issue bonds, and for
similar reasons. But because the risk is perceived as greater that these issuing
governments might be overthrown, and/or be unwilling or unable to repay their debt when it
comes due, they induce the investing public to buy their bonds (that is, lend money to
these rather more risky regimes) by offering higher rates of interest than more apparently
stable ones are offering on their bonds. It’s a competitive market out there!
Fluctuating return
When a government floats a bond issue, it has to entice money
away from other forms of investment.
It does this by offering a somewhat higher interest rate than investors
could get from a bank deposit in the same currency. The perceived risk is slightly higher
than on a bank deposit, so the return has to be also.
However, although the dividend on a bond - the regular interest that will
be paid out until maturity - is fixed in relation to the coupon value, bank interest rates
are not so fixed. The bank rate may go up or it may go down over time; and a bond’s
maturity date may be as much as 10, 20 or even 25 years off in the future.
Thus at any one point in time the yield from any particular bond may be
higher or it may be lower than could be obtained from the same amount placed on deposit
with a bank.
While it’s higher, people like to hold bonds. When it’s lower,
people would rather have their money more readily available in shorter-term fixed deposits
earning a higher rate of interest than the bond is paying.
Hence, a huge international trade has developed in bonds, which can be
bought and sold on the open market any time up until they mature.
Of course, an investor wishing to buy one when bank interests are low has
to be willing to pay a premium to induce someone holding one to sell it to him.
Similarly, when bank interest rates are higher than bond yields, people
wanting to sell bonds have to do so at a discount to the face value.
All this time, however, the amount of interest earned by the bond remains
fixed relative to its coupon - its face value.
Thus the yield fluctuates up or down in relation to the market price of
the bond. When the bond is trading at a premium to its coupon value, the yield is a lower
percentage of the market price, and vice versa when the bond is traded at a discount to
its coupon value.
Unexpected rise causes unexpected drop
The most significant risk one takes in trading in bonds is that
bank rates may be raised unexpectedly, and the bond market suffers a sudden drop as a
result.
This happened in February 1994 when the U.S. Federal Reserve Chairman,
Alan Greenspan, raised interest rates some three months before market analysts had
predicted he would. This caught the markets very much by surprise, with major bond markets
experiencing an unprecedented 20% drop in a remarkably short span of time.
Poor George Soros was put in the awkward position of having to sell off
huge amounts of equity holdings to cover his short speculative position in bonds, losing a
very considerable amount of money in the process.
The volume of these trades and others sparked what became a global market
meltdown through the rest of ’94 and into ’95, wiping billions off the value of
international holdings.
If you’re left holding bonds after an unexpected bank rate hike,
these may be trading at a considerable discount to their price when you acquired them,
thereby eroding the value of your portfolio.
Of course, this is only a paper loss until you actually sell them.
Effectively, you have three options. First, to hold onto your bonds (which
are still going to pay the fixed dividend on the coupon value come what may), and encash
them for their full face value at maturity.
Alternatively, to wait for bank interest rates to fall, when the trading
value of your bonds will rise again, enabling you at least to break even on your
investment, while having enjoyed the regular dividend in the meantime.
This process may take years, however, and will be rather frustrating,
knowing your investment could be earning more in the bank.
The third option is simply to bite the bullet, accept the loss of selling
your bonds at their now discounted trading value, and placing the proceeds into other
areas of investment which may produce a higher return.
A market barometer
Bonds can be a useful barometer of stock markets, providing an
indication before the event of likely weather changes.
When bond markets drop, stock markets usually follow a few months
later. Similarly, when bond prices are rising (usually because interest rates have been
relaxed), the stock market will also tend to rise a few months afterwards.
For investors with diversified portfolios, bonds are a useful "safety
net" under equity holdings, which can move much more erratically and faster, often
for short-term sentimental reasons rather than because of valid fundamental causes.
For interested medium or long term investors, watching the less volatile
bond markets may therefore provide a more objective view of the direction any particular
stock market is taking, enabling you to take appropriate steps in a timely and less
reactive manner.
Next week therefore we shall look at the risks & return from investing
in stock markets.
If you have any comments or queries on this article, or about other
topics concerning investment matters, write to Leslie Wright, c/o Family Money, Pattaya
Mail, or fax him directly on (038) 232522 or e-mail him at [email protected] Further details and back
articles can be accessed on his firm’s website on www.westminsterthailand.com
Leslie Wright is Managing Director of Westminster Portfolio Services
(Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial advisors providing advice to expatriate
residents of the Eastern Seaboard on personal financial planning and international
investments.
By Laura Zubrod,
Registered Dietitian
If you were to look for foods high in the vitamin folate,
would you know what to choose? Perhaps your first thought would be why you would
want to find foods rich in folate.
Folate (or folic acid or folacin) is a member of the B vitamin family. It
is important to get adequate amounts for a number of reasons. Folate helps to prevent
certain birth defects, heart disease, some cancers, and depression. It also aids in the
growth and development of new cells and works with vitamin B12 to help form red blood
cells and prevent anemia.
Folate is essential during pregnancy. Women who do not get adequate folate
prior to and in the first few weeks of pregnancy give birth to more babies with serious
brain and spine defects. Folate may also play a role in the prevention of cleft lip and
cleft palate deformities. Since these defects happen early in pregnancy, women of
child-bearing age should consume adequate amounts of folate every day.
Folate may help reduce the risk of heart disease and colon and cervical
cancers. Folate reduces the incidence of death from heart disease and stroke by decreasing
blood levels of a substance called homocysteine. Homocysteine is used to make body
proteins and is produce naturally in our bodies. Homocysteine is also found in animal
proteins like meat, eggs, and cheese. A diet high in animal protein combined with smoking
and heavy drinking can raise homocysteine levels.
Folate is easy to find. Dark green leafy vegetables, liver, organ meats,
wheat, wheat germ, bran, yeast, legumes, beans (black, soy, pinto, etc.), broccoli,
asparagus, artichokes, okra, sweet potatoes, cabbage, and cantaloupe have the most folate.
High amounts of folate are also found in whole grain cereals, nuts, and other fruits
(oranges, papaya, avocados, strawberries). Cereals and bread products from the US and
other countries are fortified with folate (read the labels to be sure).
The recommended daily allowance of folate for men and women is 400
micrograms (µ) or 0.4 milligrams. However, the folate in food is not always 100%
available due to other nutrients that bind to it, cooking methods, processing of the food,
etc. Count on getting more around 800 µ of folate from food to ensure your body gets the
400 µ it needs. Getting 800 µ of folate from food might look like this: 110 g black
beans = 130 µ folate, 225 g raw spinach = 109 µ, 225 g cantaloupe = 48 µ, 250 ml orange
juice = 110 µ, 225 Cornflakes = 80 µ; 110 g asparagus = 88 µ, 1 banana = 24 µ, 110 g
peanuts = 90 µ, 2 slices whole wheat bread = 40 µ, 228 g mango = 31 µ, 110 g
cauliflower 33 µ, and 330 g brown rice = 12 µ folate.
A multivitamin containing folate is an easy way to ensure you are getting
enough. If you are trying to conceive or are pregnant, talk to your doctor about the best
supplement for you. Elderly persons and others at high risk for vitamin B12 deficiency or
pernicious anemia (like vegetarians that do not eat dairy products) should be cautious
about supplementing with folate. Folate supplementation can mask early signs of vitamin
B12 deficiency, which can cause permanent nerve damage. It is best to supplement with a
multivitamin that also provides vitamin B12.
Next time you are grocery shopping or planning a meal, think about
investing in a little cancer and heart disease protection by adding folate-rich foods to
your plate. Your best health insurance is a nutritious diet combined with physical
activity and other positive lifestyle habits.
Readers may write Laura care of the Pattaya Mail with questions or
special topics they would like to see addressed.