Pattaya Mail — Columns

Winebibber’s Grapevine  

Dolf Riks: The unknown discover and the Asian flu

It is probably due to British xenophobia, or laxity of the British Admiralty, that my bust is not on display in the Maritime Hall of Fame. The least they could have done was put a plague on the wall for posterity.

You will ask what is so marvellous about my bust and why I want to have it publicly displayed in such a distinguished place. The answer is that one should never forget that I am the discoverer of a mountain. Granted, the mountain is under the waters of the Andaman sea, but it can never be denied that it is a mountain, standing on an underwater plateau of various depths of 1,500 to 1,110 fathoms (9000 to 6600 feet) and its top is only about 52 fathoms (312 feet) under the surface of the sea. That means that one may say that the peak could be about 3000 meters high. The approximate summit is located at 15 degrees North of the equator and 95 degrees East of Greenwich and it is approximately 300 nautical miles due east from the island of Middle Andaman. Any good map with ocean depths and certainly any sea chart of the area will clearly indicate its presence.

It was in the year of the Asian Flue, 1957 to be precise, that we made frequent voyages between Indonesia and Singapore, to Burma. The ship was called the MV. Siberoet and I was the second mate. We were on our way from Belawan, the port of Medan in North Sumatra, to Akyab on the Arakan coast of Burma. On that fateful night I relieved the third officer on the ship’s bridge at midnight. The weather was fair with a waxing moon standing above the eastern horizon and far away on the port side there was some lightning over the Andaman Islands, which were too far away to be seen. The sky was clear and the stars provided a display of twinkling lights, as festive as a Christmas tree. The Indonesian quartermaster was at the wheel, keeping the ship steady on course. The Panjerwalla, or Ordinary Sailor, the lookout, was languidly leaning in the wings of the bridge, dreaming undoubtedly about things he should not have been dreaming about while on lookout duty.

While I zipped my strong, black, percolated coffee out of the traditional thick, white porcelain mug, I let my eyes get used to the darkness and scanned the horizon with the night binoculars. There were no ships or unexpected phenomena and I did not see anything of interest. After a while I went in to the chart room, studied the chart and our position and confirmed the proper course. Then I switched on the echo sounder. It gave a rather dull, not even slightly erotic curve, but it was slowly climbing. It showed a depth of 800 fathoms, I noticed. This was less than it should have been but it did not worry me at first because the Andaman Sea is a huge empty expanse and 800 fathoms is more than enough for a ship with our draft.

I left the echo sounder on and went outside again for a while. The sea was calm with a very slight swell and no wind. Again I scanned the horizon with the same negative results and went back to the chart room to look at the depth again. 650 fathoms decreasing steadily. There was no such depth indicated in our vicinity, which was in an area with little shipping. I shot a few stars to confirm our position and during the calculation the depth became less again. Our position was correct according to my fix but the chart showed a depth of over a thousand fathoms and our echo sounder said 350, decreasing further. Although there was still plenty of water under the keel I did become a bit nervous and scanned the sea again for unexpected islands or mountains. But all was tranquil and quiet and no islands could be seen.

It is always difficult to decide when to take action before it is too late or, as in my case, when to call the captain who is the ultimate authority, who was sleeping blissfully in his cabin, next to the chart room. When the depth became less that a hundred fathoms I decided to wake him up as I was no longer sure of myself. A few minutes later he was in the chart room pondering the situation. Right at that moment the depth had reached its peak of about fifty fathoms or less and it started to descent. We both sighed with relieve.

It is customary and mandatory to report these findings to the British Admiralty in London and the captain who was one of our most popular masters, insisted that I put my name in the report, so I would become immortal in the nautical world. A few weeks later a temporary "Notice to Mariners" reported the presence of the mountain and about a year later it was reported as confirmed, but who was the discoverer was not mentioned. There it is in any sea chart of the Andaman Sea, as well as other maps featuring depths but alas without my name.

As is often the case, most of these navigational features are called after English navigators, like McDonald’s Shoal, Johnson’s Reef or Darling’s Rock. I do believe that the English have never forgiven us our superiority on the high seas in olden days when the Dutch fleet sailed way up the Thames to Chatham, broke the chain the English had carefully spanned the river with, boarded the "Royal Charles", the flag ship of the Royal Navy, and started shooting at the nervous citizens of London. Samuel Pepys wrote in his famous diaries that he was quite depressed about this feat and who can blame him with a bunch of Dutch ruffians on the doorstep?

As I said it was the year of the Asian Flu and on the way back from Burma to Singapore, most of the crew fell violently ill. I remember standing on the bridge with a quite a fever albeit not as sick as others, who were excepted from duty. My only company was a quartermaster who was equally ill. Most of the crew was too sick to leave their bunks and we introduced "Chinese Duty" as we called it for the reasonably well. This is four hours at liberty, after administration and other chores of a mate, and four hours on the bridge. The same order was given to the engine room and the deck crew. Fortunately there were no gales or other emergencies and by the time we anchored on the roads of Singapore, most of us had recovered enough to go ashore for a good time.

Dear Hillary,
We have a very dear friend living next door. He is from the same town as we are and decided to move to Pattaya to be close to us. There is only one problem: he doesn’t seem to be very clean. We never realised it before, since we are from a very cold country, but now in the heat of this climate he simply stinks. To avoid sweating, that’s what he says, he never wears a T-shirt or a shirt. He walks around all day in shorts - and still sweats. We know its normal, we also sweat and so does everybody else here I assume, but we do take a shower in the morning, in the evening and many times in-between. We also use a lot of deodorant to avoid smelling bad. He doesn’t. His Thai girlfriend told us he takes a shower in the morning for exactly 1 minute only and he allows her 2 minutes for a shower. He claims water and electricity are too expensive.

He comes and visits us every day, sometimes a few times. We almost cannot stand it anymore. Even my youngest daughter makes a face as soon as he arrives. So far, we have been able to prevent her from saying out loud what she thinks, but for how long? You know how children are at age four.

How can I tell him to take a shower more often and to dress more properly, without hurting his feelings?

Bad Smell

Dear Bad Smell,
Friends should be able to tell the truth to each other. Still, I do understand your hesitation. It’s always a problem to tell somebody he stinks. Why don’t you tell him, during a normal conversation, it is much better to wear a cotton shirt, for it absorbs the sweat and he won’t feel the heat as much. You can also tell him you have the feeling something smells bad in your house and use some air-spray. I believe if you do that many times, he might realise it’s him who smells bad. If he is very insensitive, tell him straight. Even with a very dear friend, you do not have to bear everything. Why don’t you offer him to take a shower in your house, if he is too stingy to take one in his home?

Dear Hillary,

My brother, who has lived in Thailand for many years and whom I visit regularly, acts very strange lately. Right after I came to visit him this time, I saw the changes he underwent and I am worried. His behaviour is sometimes scary. I am afraid he might be into alcohol or drugs, even though I haven’t seen any signs yet. What symptoms do I have to look for to find out whether he’s addicted or not? I really want to help him, if he is in trouble.

Worried Brother.

Dear Worried Brother,
All I suggest is for you to go with him and consult a doctor. The problem is, if he doesn’t want to, you surely cannot drag him there. I myself cannot give you a medical diagnosis, but there are some signs you could be watching out for, including absenteeism, temporary departures from the job, mood changes, lower quality of work, red or bleary eyes, drinking alcohol at unusual times of the day, rapid drinking, increased tolerance for alcohol or drugs, financial problems, tremors, increased occurrence of minor illness, flushed face, family problems, excessive nervousness, sudden disappearing from the table or wherever he is.

Nothing on this list is full proof of alcoholism or drug abuse. Nevertheless, lower job performance, together with some of the other signs, is a good reason to talk to him about it. You don’t have to lose anything by doing so. Sometimes, if people are in trouble, even though they won’t ask for help, they are waiting for somebody to take charge.

  Thai Idiom: Bo Pen Yang

‘No is what’
‘What on earth?’
‘I don’t think this comes from earth.’
‘Everyone knows what no is!’
‘Some men don’t.’
‘True.’

This is actually not a Thai idiom. It’s more of a ‘fun’ word. In the Isan dialect ‘Bo Pen Yang’ means ‘Mai Pen Rai.’ Isan food is very popular with all Thais and some Isan words are considered funny. This is because most central Thais consider Isan people to be provincial.
When engaging in lively repartee with your Thai friends, using ‘Bo Pen Yang’ instead of ‘Mai Pen Rai’ will often elicit appreciative giggles and add pizzazz to the conversation.
Using this phrase with people from Isan will earn their appreciation that you have attempted to learn a bit of their language.

  Family Money: Are financial advisors just salesmen?

Recently, someone who was introduced to me socially asked what I do, and when I told him, he bitterly responded: "You financial advisors are all the same - all you want to do is sell me life insurance!"

Perhaps this man had an unfortunate experience in the past, or met the wrong kind of financial advisors. I don’t know, and that time and place were not appropriate for further discussion.

It saddened me, however, to think that what to me is a profession which can genuinely help people should
be seen by some people in
this light.

It also saddens me that a life insurance policy should be seen by some as an unnecessary waste of money.

While it is true that some people in the insurance industry are agents of their company, whose primary job is to sell as much as they are able to as many people as possible, that is not the function of a professional financial advisor, any more than it is the function of a doctor to sell as many pills as possible - that is the job of a pharmacist.

I think of a professional financial advisor as being similar to the family doctor. He will be concerned about the financial health of his clients and be client-orientated. That is, he will give advice that is in the best interests of the client, rather than just for his own benefit or that of the company
he represents.

Certainly he will earn money for his services. Don’t you?

To me, the main difference between a client-orientated advisor and a sales-orientated one is that the former will recommend to his clients what they need, whereas the latter will recommend either what he wants to sell them, or what they think they want - which can often be very different from what they really need.

(Just as a pharmacist will sell you the pills you ask for over the counter, whereas a doctor will prescribe the medication which, in his professional judgement, will do the best job of curing you.)

‘Wants’ versus ‘Needs’

Most people I meet professionally come along with a ‘want’ or ‘wish’ list. But a considerable number of these people do not know what they really need before it’s pointed out to them.

An example which springs to mind is that of a client who, when I was first referred to him, wanted advice on making a lump-sum investment of £20,000.

After conducting an analysis of his financial situation, however, it came to light that he had made no provision for educating his children through university; and although his company paid for their secondary education, they would make no contribution towards tertiary educational costs - which can be frighteningly high these days, and becoming increasingly more expensive each year.

We discussed how much he could afford to save, and I then prepared some illustrations for him of the projected costs of his children’s college education, and found an appropriate investment vehicle for building up a college fund.

The projected figures, quite by coincidence, corresponded exactly with his savings capacity. As a result, he was able to start up an affordable savings plan that would take care of his children’s further education, and was very relieved and grateful that this need was pointed out to him - which he clearly had given no thought to before I identified it.

If this ‘need’ hadn’t been addressed, and he hadn’t started up that educational funding plan, he’d now be paying out very considerably more than his savings capacity to educate his two sons at university!

(And, by the way, on my next visit, he also took my advice for investing the £20,000 which was his only ‘want’ when I first met him, and has been a valued client ever since.)

Another client (whom I shall call ‘Martin’) called me up one day and said he wanted to take out some life insurance. This surprised me, because Martin had often said that he didn’t like to think about dying, and didn’t believe in life insurance. What had suddenly changed his mind, I wondered?

It turned out that his wife’s brother had similarly never wanted any life insurance, but had been killed in a car accident a few days before. His widow and young children were left with almost nothing to survive on.

Martin’s wife (a shrewd Chinese lady) told Martin that he had better not leave her in that position, and demanded he do something about it.

He came to see me with the figure of US$100,000 insurance coverage in mind; this was his ‘want’. I pointed out that if something happened to him, and this capital were reinvested conservatively to provide his wife an income, it would give her and the children perhaps US$8-10,000 a year to live on - far beneath their requirements in Hong Kong at that time.

After further analysis, it was identified that he actually needed closer to US$400,000 coverage, and this is what we arranged for him: a cost-effective term-life policy which gave his family peace of mind without costing him a high premium.

Guess who his wife comes to when she has need for investment advice?

So almost everyone with dependants has a need for life insurance, and thus there is a need for life-insurance salesmen. Just as there is the need for pharmacists who sell pills.

But there are many other aspects of personal financial planning which a client-orientated professional advisor will be able to address - just as there are many areas of personal health which only a qualified and experienced doctor can address.

  Modern Medicine

Patients with diseases of the brain now have an alternative form of surgery with no incisions necessary. The Leksell Gamma Knife can perform brain operations without opening the skull.

This new instrument uses Gamma waves in what is termed Stereotactic Radiosurgery.

The new device, developed by Swedish physicians, is used in four brain conditions: ruptured capillaries, inaccessible tumours, pain due to various brain conditions, and diseases which originate in the brain, such as Parkinson’s, and epilepsy.

The Leksell Gamma Knife is suitable for patients not strong enough for invasive surgery.

After an initial examination, physicians take special x-rays of the patient’s brain to determine the exact location of the tumour. The x-rays are carefully studied for many days by physicians and are also put through a computer analysis.

The patient is then put in the Leksell Gamma Knife chamber. The machine then projects 201 small, low frequency rays into the tumour.

The patient feels no pain during treatment and anaesthetic is not necessary. Each treatment lasts from 5-10 minutes. The Gamma Knife kills malignant cells and they will disappear after a short period of time.

The patient may resume normal life after several days of observation at the hospital. This is in contrast to invasive surgery, after which the patient must recover for a period of 1-6 months.

Over 35,000 patients with life threatening diseases have been treated with the Gamma-Knife and the results have convinced doctors that this is the treatment of choice whenever possible.

The Gamma Knife is now being widely used in the US, Europe and Japan, with an average of 10-12 operations per week on each machine in use.

The cost of treatment with the Gamma-Knife is lower than traditional invasive surgery. It is not inexpensive, though.

There are few side effects to unaffected parts of the brain.

The saving of money, time and risk has given physicians great hope in the treatment of brain conditions.

  Health & Nutrition Facts: Food for thought

Different classes of food alter brain chemistry in different ways. What we eat over the course of the day can affect our mood, alertness, clarity of thought, and our ability to perform mentally, learn and remember.

Breakfast. There is no question about breakfast being your most important meal of the day, but eating the wrong breakfast foods may be keeping you from reaching your normal energy peak. Feasting on carbohydrates that contain high amounts of sugars and starches like doughnuts, croissants, pancakes, syrup, and sugary cereals increase the presence of the soothing neurotransmitter in your brain called serotonin.

As a result, your breakfast could leave you feeling like crawling back into bed all morning. On the other hand, bacon, eggs, and sausage contain high amounts of fat and cholesterol that are slow to digest, so they divert blood from the brain to the stomach and reduce mental sharpness. A good breakfast features a combination of foods low in fat such as lean ham, low-fat milk and yogurt, whole grain breads and rolls, and fresh fruit or juice.

What about caffeine? After one or two cups of coffee or tea, you will be more alert. But after three or so cups, caffeine over-stimulation can begin, making you less sharp and clear-headed.

Lunch. Do you feel the urge to take a long nap after lunch? If so, then you may not be eating the best foods for lunch. A high carbohydrate lunch sends your brain on an afternoon recess. However, eating a protein-rich meal of poultry or fish, for example, can keep you feeling alert during the afternoon.

Proteins act like spark plugs, firing up your approximately 10 billion nerve cells. Protein foods fill your bloodstream with the amino acid tyrosine that enters the brain and triggers two excitatory neural messengers—norepinephrine and dopamine. These alertness chemicals cause you to react more quickly, think more clearly, and be more attentive, spirited, and mentally energetic.

Vegetable proteins, such as soy products, legumes, and low-fat dairy products are ideally suited for keeping you alert. Beware of high-fat protein sources such as hard cheese, luncheon meats, sausage, eggs, and peanut butter. Excess fat delays tyrosine’s absorption into the blood, and halts protein’s ability to rev up your brain.

Another key nutrient functioning to keep you mentally alert is choline. It is found in fish, meats, egg yolks, soy products, oatmeal, rice, peanuts, and pecans. Choline is used to make a brain chemical called acetylcholine, that transmits nerve impulses in the brain and plays a major role in memory.

Dinner. Unless you need stimulation and energy to work or study through the night, avoid proteins - such as a juicy steak or fish - at supper. Choose carbohydrates instead since you’ll soon be drifting off to dream land. In addition to making you drowsy, serotonin can also help reduce sensitivity to pain. Thanks to serotonin’s calming properties, downing cookies, chocolate, or a bowl of pasta can calm and lift your spirits when you are stressed or feeling depressed. The problem with eating for emotional reasons and not from hunger is that excess weight gain a common result.

It only takes as little as 12 grams of carbohydrate (the amount found in a slice of bread) to activate the chain reaction leading to a serotonin slowdown. The feelings of lethargy and sleepiness appear even faster when the carbohydrates come from candy bars or doughnuts. Hence, following the sugar buzz, our brain becomes flooded with serotonin and we are ready for a snooze.

However, when carbohydrates and proteins are combined in a meal, the energizing effects of protein win out over carbohydrates’ comforting effects. Also, including fiber with carbohydrates as in a piece of fruit, slows the release of serotonin. The bottom line is to eat carbohydrates accompanied by low-fat proteins and vegetables, fruits, and other high-fiber carbohydrates to prevent that groggy feeling.

Any meal that overtaxes the stomach - be it too much fat or eating too many calories in one sitting - is likely to have mind-numbing consequences. There is a direct relationship between the number of calories consumed at a sitting and mental alertness. As calorie intake per meal is increased, mental performance after the meal drops sharply.

Feeding your brain adequate amounts of vitamins and minerals is also essential for mental acuity. That means eating a well-balanced diet and perhaps taking a multivitamin. Water is also essential to optimal brain function. Since a number of nutrients your brain needs - including calcium, magnesium, sodium, potassium, and chloride—exist in your body in solution, too much or too little water can unbalance their concentration and disturb brain function.

Eating the right food at the right time of day can make a considerable difference in your state of mind. Since what you put in your mouth can change your mood, alertness, memory, and mental performance, why not give it some thought first?

Readers may write Laura care of the Pattaya Mail with questions or special topics they would like to see addressed.

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