|
PILC April luncheon
This month’s Pattaya International Ladies Club (PILC)
luncheon was held at the Royal Cliff Grand and over one hundred members and
guests attended. The club’s membership is now more than one hundred and ninety
and increasing every month. There are lots of new ex pats moving to the Eastern
Seaboard as the workload in the area increases.
 Dr.
Belen
Lunch this month was a delicious buffet with food to suit all tastes and deserts
were wonderful. Thank you to the management and staff of the hotel.
As Songkran is this month we were entertained before lunch by the children of
Pattaya School 6, showing us some traditional Thai dances that can be performed
for this festival. The children and teachers gave up some of their holidays to
practice for this demonstration of dance and PILC would like to say a big thank
you for giving the ladies such a wonderful performance. The costumes were so
beautiful and the children all very graceful in the dances. Thank you goes to
the PILC members who organized the children’s visit and transportation to and
from the hotel and also made sure they all had lunch.
After lunch the guest speaker was Dr. Belen who held a question and answer
session on the general medical problems we can encounter. She told how
dehydration can be a major problem to many in the early days of arriving here in
Pattaya, elaborated on how to treat the water that you wash and cook food in,
and how every day things need to be done in a different way here in this
tropical climate. Lots of questions were asked and all were answered in a
helpful and positive way. Thank you Dr. Belen for giving up your valuable time
and offering all the ladies the help and advice they sometimes need.
There were many donations of prizes for the charity raffle and thank you to all
the businesses and individuals who made the donations. The Welfare Fund received
a nice boost this month from the sale of raffle tickets and the May PILC
newsletter will tell you how some of this fund is being spent.
The May luncheon will be held at the Amari Orchid Hotel on May 6th at 10:30 a.m.
A fashion show by YES! will be the main event of the day and also there will be
a guest speaker. Bookings for the luncheon can be made by telephoning Jo Hall
241 061, Pat Ainslie 306 120 or Shirley Rice 424 593. The last two numbers are
also fax numbers. If members do not receive a newsletter they can always collect
one from reception at the Amari Orchid Hotel.
If you are new to Pattaya and want to know more about the PILC then please
contact any of the ladies on the telephone numbers above or Sandra Haeberli
(hospitality) tel. 367 288.
|
|
EXCUSES...EXCUSES... EXCUSES...
Brought back to attention by Ariyada
Excuses are perfect for the 90s. No one wants to
take responsibility for anything today. Just look at all the
political leaders; they are masters at it. Have you ever heard a political
leader say, “I was wrong”? So why should you be the only one telling the
truth? And of course there are lots of people in the legal profession who
will be more than happy to convince you (for a very large fee) that no
matter what it was, it was not your fault. It was the government, the
company, your neighbor, husband, wife, parents (they are always a favorite),
school, society - anybody, thing or institution, but you. Think about it, if
the woman who spilled coffee on herself had the nerve to blame and sue
Mackey D. for hot coffee (how novel, hot coffee), why should you take any
responsibility for anything? Do you know there was actually a man who tried
to sue himself for $5 million for his own incompetence, and since he didn’t
have any money he wanted the state to pay for the suit. It’s true.
Anyhow, all excuses must have some possibility of
being true, no matter how remote. Because in most cases people want
to give you the benefit of the doubt. People don’t want confrontation. The
truth is often hard to face. If you give them something fairly believable,
they probably will accept it. Remember these few rules:
* The best excuses are delivered with the right
combination of body language.
* As any piano teacher will tell you “practice makes
perfect” so practice, practice, practice.
* Always keep a number of excuses at your finger tips.
You never know when you will need them.
* After you give an excuse, change the subject to
something else.
* Look and act sincere.
* It’s easier to give excuses over the phone than in
person.
* If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them
with BS!
* Know your strengths and the other person’s weaknesses.
For example, if you are technically oriented and the other person isn’t,
then you would use lots of technical lingo to back up your position. (Note:
The information you use to support your argument doesn’t have to be true).
* It’s OK to fool yourself with excuses (Note: Imagine
getting to the end of your life and realizing how you wasted it. But fool
yourself and you’ll never have to face the truth).
* In the words of J.R. Ewing: “Never tell the truth, when
a good lie will do!”
To give our readers a proper example, Pattaya Mail
will start a mini-series with the best excuses. Let’s start with the most
important people:
Excuses for Politicians:
* According to the United States Constitution, it is
unlawful to force someone to work.
* Politician: “I can’t believe that we are going to allow
the majority of voters to influence this legislation”.
* Politician: “I wasn’t elected to represent my
constituents. I was elected to do what is best for them.” (Note: ‘Heaven
help us from those people who want to do what is best for us. This is
benevolent arrogance’.)
* Politician in defense: “Yeah, I owe a bookie $2,000,
but not the one you’re asking me about.”
* “It’s the Congresses fault.”
* “It’s the President’s fault.”
* “It’s what the voters want.”
* “The Democrats don’t understand the issues.”
* “According to the polls, the voters agree with my
position.” (Note: The polls might say just the opposite, but there are so
many polls, who can keep track?)
* “The Republicans don’t understand the issues.”
* “Neither the Democrats or the Republicans understand
the issues.”
(Continuation next week. Coming up: Excuses for Breaking
the Law and Excuses for Home.)
|
|
Silly Proverbs
by Tookada
Air-pollution has got it’s advantages - now we can see
what we are breathing.
Your boss is a human being like everybody else - he just doesn’t realize it.
Better being in a good position than working.
We are working hand in hand. What one can’t perform - the other one wouldn’t
touch.
Yesterday we were in trouble. It seemed we were standing on the edge of a
deep abyss. Today we are already one step further.
Regulations are half of our life - only, the second half is more fun.
Grammar is a problem for most of the people - except they are illiterate.
Feed your children with garlic - you’ll find them easier after dark.
(Man to his friends) I have so many beautiful problems, why should I share
them with a woman?
Men buy alcohol for a beautiful woman. For an ugly one - they’ll drink it.
Don’t forget! The best doctors are: Dr. Diet, Dr. Piece and Dr. Fun.
Have a nice weekend!
Quick, easy and delicious at Rony’s Buffet
With the invasion of the fast food chains from overseas,
we have this hamburger palace and that pizza parlour, with never ending
amounts of food flowing in undernourishing, over-caloric rivers. This is all
very well, if you want to feel like you’re back in Towaco, New Jersey.
People in Pattaya are often heard to complain, “I want to get a quick bite
to eat. But I don’t want to spend all my money on food.”
If you’re on the run and don’t have three hours to sit and eat, a solution
to the dilemma of fast, decent food at a reasonable price has just opened in
Pattaya. Rony’s Buffet.
As it is not a chain restaurant, the quality of the food is not set to
machine-like standards. Both Thai and European food are available. And you
don’t have to worry about waiting for 45 minutes before someone brings you a
menu.
Rony’s is actually tastefully decorated, with lighting that is not too low
and not too high. Everything is not hard Formica and there’s not a steam
table present. All the dishes are kept warm in special ‘crock pot’ type
vessels.
The nice thing about buffets is that, if you can’t decide what you want,
they give you a choice. This restaurant has an even balance of bread, soups,
many different types of salads and a choice of pork, beef, chicken and fish
entrees.
The price is right at 150 baht net for adults and 95 baht for children under
twelve.
What you get at this restaurant, which others lack, is non-manufactured
food. And the menus are changed every day. There are real schnitzels and
stews with real beef and chicken.
On our visit there, there was an array of Thai dishes, such as Kaeng Phet,
Kaeng Khiow Waan and Thai salads from which to chose. This makes the Rony’s
doubly attractive, as you can visit with Thai friends and not worry that
there won’t be any food to suit their taste.
A buffet is also a great place to take children who are picky eaters. There
are kid’s favourites such as spaghetti with meat sauce. The deserts such as
crepes and cakes will also tempt them.
For a nourishing, tasty and quick meal before your daily tour or evening
out, Rony’s should meet all your needs.
Rony’s is located on Pattaya 2nd Road between Sois 7 and 8.
|
|
Who’s the smarter sex?
by Tookada
I’d be willing to bet that 80% of you will guess - men. That might
be a thing of the past.
A study by the American Science Journal on the mental skills of men and
women revealed that men have a natural propensity for mathematics, while
women show greater aptitude for writing and reading.
Which is fine, because women can always buy a calculator to help with
budgeting, but scientists still haven’t invented a machine that can read or
write!
Did you ever notice...?
A look at the movies by Jay Patterson
Watching movies is a great experience. It shows what a silly view
adults have of the world. Watching movies as a child, I often wondered about
the following things. Few of the big stars were great actors and few of the
great actors were big stars. Why did Bette Davis always play Bette Davis?
Humphrey Bogart was surely a star, but pretty generic.
Why could Agnes Moore-head act everyone off the screen? If you don’t know
her movies, you might be old enough to remember her as Endora in the silly
TV series Bewitched. She gave the show class. And she made you believe she
was a supernatural being.
In the television version of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, how did
George C. Scott manage to make Scrooge so real? After the spirit’s
visitations, the change in the character all happened internally. Why?
As I got older, maggots invaded in my brain. My twisted imagination started
wondering WHY is it that in movies:
No-one ever eats. If one character asks another if they would like something
to eat, they always say, “NO, I’m not hungry”. Or, if they have a plate of
food in front of them, they take half a bite and then continue the dialogue,
never giving the food another look.
Everyone ALWAYS drinks. In old movies, whenever offered a drink, men said,
“Sure!” and women said, “Yes, thank-you.”
Examples:
Character One: “My father just died. (SOB!)”
Character Two: “I’m sorry to hear that. What was it?
Character One: “Alcoholism”
Character One: “Sounds like you need a drink.”
Character two: “Thanks. And make it a double.
The first two can be combined, Example:
Character one finds character two in the desert, parched, famished and about
to die.
Character one: “What happened to you?”
Character two: “I’ve been stranded in the desert for two weeks with no food
and water. I’m dying of starvation and thirst! (GASP!)”
Character one, to character three who is off screen: “Madge, bring me the
whiskey, quick!”
In Sci-Fi movies of the 50’s, featuring horrible creatures and people
stranded in some remote area, there were always approximately 4 horny men
and one stupid woman with large breasts who was referred to as “the girl.”
Remember in the final scene, in which everyone was escaping from the
creature, “the girl” ALWAYS twisted her ankle and slowed them down.
In movies, people always let the telephone ring about thirty times before
answering it and the caller never hangs up.
When the doorbell rings, two characters inside manage to have a 5 minute
dialogue before opening the door.
In the not-so-funny ‘comedies’ of the 1950’s and early 1960’s:
Women promised men sex to get anything.
Men promised women anything to get sex.
The leading men were always an average of 26 years older than the leading
women.
In those days:
The leading men, usually suave, almost never showed their bodies because
they were in terrible shape.
These days:
The leading men, seldom suave, always show their bodies because they’re
in wonderful shape.
In those days:
The love scenes were seldom erotic.
These days:
The erotic scenes are seldom lovely.
Fights in westerns: The ‘good guy’ and the ‘bad guy’ had 5 minute
fist fights and there was never a trace of blood. It also took a long time
for someone to lose consciousness.
But: When someone was tapped on the head with a gun barrel or any other
object they immediately lost consciousness.
The hero and the ‘bad guy’s’ clothes were never torn in these fights.
When men got shot, it could be in any part of the body.
Women only got shot in the stomach.
In fights, when the ‘good guy’, the ‘bad guy’ or both were on a horse,
neither shot the horse to limit the other’s movements. (In the American old
west, horses were sacred, so if there was a choice between killing a horse
or letting an axe-murderer escape, the horse’s life was always given first
priority.)
When two characters were having a fight of any kind and endangering others,
the 20 people standing around usually backed off or ran away. Very seldom
did they get together and tell the idiots if they didn’t stop, the entire
populace would kick their butts.
In most movies:
When someone everyone likes dies, they are consigned to hell.
Example:
Character One: “Renfield is dead.”
Character Two: “Poor devil!”
When someone everyone hates dies, they are blessed.
Example:
Character One: “Dracula is dead.”
Character Two: “Now his soul will rest in peace.”
Kid’s corner:
Did you ever notice how children in movies can reply to their mom’s and
dad’s questions in a smart, clever way which would get you in big trouble if
you did it at home?
Did you notice how in the movies, kid’s lives’ are really super-bad or
super-good but never, never boring, like it is a lot of the time in real
life?
The next time you go to the movies, see if I’m right. Enjoy the show.
|
|
|
